In a separate entry that I'm working on as often as I can stomach it, I'm putting together what I'm starting to think of as Travis Twiggs' obituary from PTSD, linked here. In reality, no one writes lengthy obituaries of non-famous people, and somebody who died in a blaze of probably self-inflicted gunfire, after an armed carjacking and a multiple day police chase, is probably really unlikely to receive one. Not to mention, there really is no such thing as a PTSD obituary, but maybe there should be. The verdict is still years away on whether we think, as a society, that combat veterans who die from PTSD are also worthy of special honor -- say, a purple heart -- and initial results do not look promising. (See survey on Military.com, linked here, which at least last night was registering only about 31% of votes as positive ones.)
There's something very Bonnie and Clyde -- or at least, Clyde and Clyde -- about Twiggs' premature, violent death. It brings back memories to me at least of the end scene in that famous 70s classic, "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," with Robert Redford and Paul Newman, in an era when either one would have qualified for People magazine's "Sexiest Man on Earth" (a magazine contest they'd yet to invent.) In the end scene, as I remember it, outlaws Butch & Sundance have escaped to Bolivia, are convinced they're pretty much surrounded by the Federales, and plunge off the cliff, armed and together, in a basic "F.U." move to those who are in pursuit. (This classic cinematic ending is replicated later, chick version, in "Thelma and Louise.")
We don't, of course, know what the heck Travis Twiggs and Will Twiggs were thinking, on their escapade, and how fully planned out their exit was, or whether it just came to them at the time, and they winged it. We don't know what Will Twiggs, from Louisiana, was struggling with, that got him involved in this particular endgame, but we do know enough about Travis Twiggs' story to know about his struggles with PTSD. That's at least a partial answer. (Update: from what Travis Twiggs' wife, Kellee, has said publically, it now sounds a little bit like Will Twiggs may have been going along with Travis Twiggs to keep him company and to watch out for him, and they both had announced plans to visit ailing relatives in Louisiana. But they were in Arizona. It really doesn't make sense yet, and maybe never will. News reports point out that they apparently left no suicide note; at the same time, authorities blew up a large bag they had with them, on the off-chance it was booby-trapped -- so if they did leave a note, but it was in the bag, well, that's long gone as well.)
What made them journey to the Grand Canyon, half a country away from either one of them, pack -- according to press reports -- large backpacks, and then carjack a couple's 2008 car when theirs got disabled, before leading police on a multi-day chase, ending in gunshots (allegedly, the Twiggs brothers died in a murder-suicide, possibly with Travis shooting his older brother, Will, then killing himself). Some press reports, and all of them are minimal, suggest that the Twiggs guys headed out to the Grand Canyon to die -- with the strong possibly of driving their car off a cliff -- but then when their car was disabled, they carjacked the other car, to have transportation. If that's true, the backpacks make no sense at all. In any case, they're gone, we're not going to learn anything more, and the best we can do is put together the pieces of what we do know, which when it relates to Travis, has an awful lot to do with PTSD - a condition he fought, talked about, and ultimately -- we believe -- succumbed to.
Why take the time to tell his story, at all? Given the way that he died, and initial press reports that suggested a long-term, violent criminal history for both Twiggs and his brother (we have no idea if this is true or not, but Travis Twiggs spent enough time in the Marine Corps this doesn't make a whole lot of sense - it may just have been a mistaken impression, given the carjacking.) Well, if you'll excuse the informality of expression, I'm writing this because I think it pretty much sucks that he died, and I'm very sorry that he took himself out, for reasons best known to himself, but which nevertheless are somewhat easy to understand. Here was a guy who for whatever reason, could never forgive himself for what he saw, did or experienced in combat -- particularly the loss of the lives of the guys who died on his watch. He wrote about it, plagued himself with it, prayed over it, and ultimately, couldn't come to terms with it. It may not have been the only thing bothering him, but it's obvious from his story that it was significantly bothering him.
If, through a rhetorical device, we combine phrases from letters he wrote to both of the guys, we hear him saying this:
"I want you to know that not one day has passed since "I" lost you. I wish that I could erase that horrible day from my memory...but I can't. I feel responsible and always will for not bringing you both home. I miss you, brothers."
Was Twiggs' death in Arizona ultimately an attempt to erase that memory from his mind? We believe that it was (among other things), and mourn his passing.
