Healing Combat Trauma

An Unprecedented Aesthetic Triumph: A War Poet (Jarrell) on a Combat Journalist (Pyle)

Randall Jarrell is famous to many (okay, I'll say it, so you won't have to) ex-English literature majors, and other fans of poetry, including war poetry.  His poem, "The Death of the Ball Turret Gunner," is one of the more famous war poems around.  What I didn't realize until I read more about Ernie Pyle was that Randall Jarrell made one of the more profound quotes about why Ernie Pyle's contribution as a journalist in wartime was so important.  He wrote:

"We felt most the moral qualities of [Ernie Pyle's] work and life; but we could not help realizing that his work was, in our time, an unprecedented aesthetic triumph: because of it most of the people of a country felt, in the fullest moral and emotional sense, something that had never happened to them, that they could never have imagined without it -- a war."

Never read Jarrell's famous poem?  Here's your chance, then: It's pretty short and to the point in its ability to communicate, elliptically, the experience of war on the individual:

 

From my mother's sleep I fell into the State,
And I hunched in its belly till my wet fur froze.
Six miles from earth, loosed from the dream of life,
I woke to black flak and the nightmare fighters.
When I died they washed me out of the turret with a hose.

The two men -- one a poet, who had served briefly in the military, the other a journalist who had embedded at length with the troops, and considered himself one of them -- both served to "amplify" the experience of serving in combat for those to those who stayed at home.  Interestingly, for our purposes on this blog, no one is clear whether Jarrell's "accidental" death at 51 (he was hit by a car while walking) was actually accidental, or in fact a successful suicide attempt.  He had struggled with mental illness (depression) before his untimely death. 

As for Pyle, he died in combat, with the troops he loved and whose individual experience he communicated so successfully to the folks at home.  According to Pyle's obituary in the New York Times, Eleanor Roosevelt herself wrote of Pyle, "I have read everything he has sent from overseas," and, the obituary states, "recommended his writings to all Americans."

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Just because I can't get enough lately of this journalist with the compassion for those he encountered in combat, I have to add one more quote from his (excellent) obituary.  How I wish we had someone like this today.  See how very much his point of view is needed among veterans today:

Said General Mark W. Clark, from Fifteenth Army General HQ in Europe:

 

"A great soldier correspondent is dead, perhaps the greatest of this war. I refer to Ernie Pyle, who marched with my troops through Italy, took their part and championed their cause both here and at home.

 

"His reporting was always constructive. He was "Ernie" to privates and generals alike. He spoke the GI's language and made it a part of the everlasting lore of our country. He was a humble man and in his humility lay his greatness.

 

"He will be missed by all of us fighting with the Fifteenth Army Group. There could have been only one Ernie Pyle. May God bless his memory. He helped our soldiers to victory."

Shaking Off the Blues: Two New Books Help Veterans and Others Get "Unstuck"

A well-regarded psychiatrist who thinks there are other-than-pharmaceutical antidotes to biochemical depression?  Rank heresy!  Oops, actually we meant -- how very refreshing indeed. 

A soulful journalist who's lived and worked in war-torn countries, and knows what it's like to be a survivor -- who then turns her attention to helping veterans and their families come home from war and rebuild the pieces of their often-shattered psyches? Again, a wonderful suggestion.

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NPR the other day published a great interview with none other than James S. Gordon, M.D., author of the new book called "Unstuck: Your Guide to the Seven-Stage Journey Out of Depression." Depression is an important topic, because many people who are risk for suicide have depression as an underlying state.  According to one psychiatry textbook for medical students, "A majority (60% to 80%) of people who commit suicide carry a diagnosis of depression."   

If you remember, we've talked about Dr. Gordon on this blog before.  He has an impressive, very talented background academically (Harvard College, Harvard Medical School), and is the founder of the Center for Mind-Body Medicine in Washington, D.C., as well as a frequent lecturer at the Smithsonian, and the former chairman of the White House Commission on Complementary and Alternative Medicine, also known as "CAM."  (We've blogged about CAM, also known somewhat misinformedly as natural medicine, and its opportunities for treating PTSD here on the blog, at length here; and also about the varieties of mind-body medicinethat might show some promise for treating combat trauma and PTSD, here.)

To listen to the NPR interview, or to read the accompany material on getting unstuck -- in Dr. Gordon's words -- click here.  To read Dr. Gordon's bio -- click here.  To read our previous posts about his work on "Healing the Wounds of War," click here; on "Healing the Troops," click here; and on his and the Center for Mind-Body Medicine's annual conference, planned for October 25-29th in Minneapolis, Minnesota this year, click here.  The topic of this year's conference is the highly-appropriate "Integrating Mind-Body Medicine into Clinical Practice, Medical Education & Trauma Healing."  As Dr. Gordon's website says, "We're teaching thousands to heal the world's millions." Indeed -- and what a noble task that is; and how very, very vital.

If I had ONE RECOMMENDATIONfor the Pentagon, the DOD, the VA, the various branches of the military (Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines, National Guard) that frequently comb this site, looking for answers to the questions they have -- it's that they would get to know Dr. Gordon's work, and send representatives to this conference in late October, 2008.  Check into mind-body medicine, with a credible expert, and somehow who's already worked with, and proven his work with, the war-torn and traumatized (troops and civilians) here and abroad.  Broaden the outlook on how to treat PTSD and combat trauma, by returning people to themselves, and helping them to learn to manage their own stress in creative and supportive ways.

Dr. Gordon says his book, Unstuck, goes into many of the same principles that his trauma work does. I can't wait to start reading my copy, which his office promises to send.

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In the meantime, I hope Dr. Gordon gets to cross paths professionally with Minnesotan Britta Reque-Dragicevic. I have read her book-- devoured it in one sitting is the more accurate description -- and think it has lots of potential to comfort, support and nurture returning veterans and their families in putting the pieces of the puzzle back together.  (One thing I love about both Dr. Gordon and Britta Reque-Dragicevic -- they both "get" it.  They've had a personal experience with what they're talking about; it's not just academic.  And they're both driven to help others heal from their suffering -- the not exactly unspoken single purpose of this blog: there's synchronicity.)

Reque-Dragicevic has written a completely soulful manual on getting unstuck herself, and with her profound understanding of the needs of trauma survivors, as a longtime journalist in post-war Saravejo and Bosnia, I sense a little (**magical?!**) professional matchmaking going on that would only serve to increase the amount of healing and overcoming in the world, especially among trauma survivors and veterans with PTSD.  If you want to read more about Reque-Dragicevic's marvelous book, Close to Home: A Soldier's Guide to Returning from War, click here.  Her book is endorsed and recommended by Dr. Edward Tick, among others.  At a mere $10 as a download on the Web, you really can't go wrong.  (We'll be quoting from Reque-Dragicevic's book on this blog in the future, with her permission, because it's wonderful stuff and she really "gets" it. Veterans and their families need to experience this.)

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If you have $10 to spare, or as a gift for someone else, buy Britta Reque-Dragecivic's book.  It's a download, and you can have it in your hands within minutes, from anywhere in the world, and start the healing process today.  If you have about $18 and shipping, buy Dr. Gordon's book, and start the healing process when it arrives in the mail -- or at your local bookstore.  If you have about $40, buy them both :-)

The Journalist as Witness to "The Powerful Fraternalism of the Ghastly Brotherhood of War"

 

I knew a trial lawyer once who had won hundreds of cases in his time, and who had -- as anyone does who primarily makes his living talking -- a few really memorable quotes, culled from various places over the years, and very useful for making certain points to juries and his peers.  Here's the best one I remember of those, which I've had opportunity to use myself over the years since.  It's allegedly from the American jurist Oliver Wendell Holmes, and it basically says, "Even a dog knows the difference between being kicked, and being tripped over."  All too true.  And all the persuasion in the world isn't gonna convince you otherwise -- if you're the dog, that is.

The world at large may always be able to debate, fairly inconclusively, whether a journalist is, or even should be, a thoroughly impartial observer to others' suffering - and what changes if and when the journalist becomes part of the story.  That indisputably great humanitarian of our time, Oprah Winfrey, started as a broadcast journalist, but had to give it up when she realized she was more interested in holding a victim's hand and comforting them than, say, aggressively interviewing them for the "story."  It makes sense, given what she was able to morph into being, that she would have had her misgivings about being there "just for the story."  Journalists like Daniel Pearl (sadly), and Zoriah (lately) can inadvertently become the subject of a story themselves, when circumstances present themselves or change so that they become the focus of the news, instead of reporting on the news.  Fundamentally, though, journalists are witnesses -- witnesses to history, of which they are often writing the alleged "first drafts" -- given that they're on the scene at the time.

Now here's someone interesting who basically confirms the paradigm of the journalist as witness/observer, but explodes the myth of being the impartial onlooker: Ernie Pyle.  Ernie Pyle is known as the greatest war correspondent who ever lived, and the reality is, he earned that accolade for many reasons.  But perhaps the biggest was this: he took a genuine interest in his subjects who -- like the celebrated dog in the quote above -- certainly knew the difference.

In the introduction to Ernie's War: The Best of Ernie Pyle's World War II Dispatches, David Nichols writes:

"Ernie Pyle covered World War II the way the infantry soldier fought it: on the ground and on the move, subject to fear, filth and the capricious fates that dealt death to one man, life to another.  Pyle was a novelty as a war correspondent.  Only rarely did he write about the so-called 'big picture.' Rather, Pyle focused on the individual combatant -- how he lived, endured by turns battle and boredom, and sometimes how he died, far from home in a war whose origins he only vaguely understood."

Ahhh, I think I'm in love with him already...

Studs Terkel, who, along with David McCullough, is one of America's foremost oral historians, writes this about Pyle's ability to touch "millions of readers" with his dispatches, from the same book:

"It is an exquisite irony that this journalist became celebrated for celebrating the non-celebrated.  It is further irony that his deeply moving pieces became dis-remembered at war's end.  So did the war, for that matter.  We may be the richest country in material things and possibly the poorest in memory."

But, he continued:

"Ernie Pyle was painfully aware of this.  In writing of the footsloggers, the grunts, Bill Mauldin's Willie and Joe, he let us know it: "All the war of the world has seemed to be borne by the few thousand front-line soldiers here, destined merely by chance to suffer and die for the rest of us."  He sensed immediately what [war poet] Wilfred Owen, who died in some other war, called Chance's strange arithmetic.  [Editor's note: In an resonance across the generations, some of the Recon Marines in Evan Wright's Generation Kill discuss a similar phenomenon that they call 'the sacred geometry of chance.']

"He knew, too, that it was neither God nor Flag nor Mother that impelled a pimply faced kid to risk, to lose his life in an obscene adventure.  He did it for the kid next to him; he couldn't let him down.  They needed one another so bad.  'I lay there in the darkness ... thinking of the millions far away at home who must remain forever unaware of the powerful fraternalism in the ghastly brotherhood of war'.

"When they found Ernie's body on Ie [an island in the Okinanawan chain, where the battle was being fought], they came across a rough draft of a column [that he had with him.]  Fragments: 'Dead men in such familiar promiscuity that they become monotonous.  Dead men in such monstrous infinity that you come almost to hate them.  These are the things that you at home need not even try to understand.  To you at home they are columns of figures."

When Ernie Pyle died in combat, the whole country reached out to offer their condolences:

President Harry Truman said,

"No man in this war has so well told the story of the American fighting man as American fighting men wanted it told. He deserves the gratitude of all his countrymen."

Secretary of the Navy James Forrestal said,

"With deep regret, the Navy announces the death on Ie Shima (Island) of Ernie Pyle, whose reporting of this war endeared him to the men of the armed forces throughout the world and to their families at home.

"He was killed instantly by Japanese machine-gun fire while standing beside the regimental commanding officer of Headquarters Troop, Seventy-seventh Division, United States Army. At the time of his death he was with the foot soldiers, the men for whom he had the greatest admiration.

"Mr. Pyle will live in the hearts of all service men who revered him as a comrade and spokesman. More than anyone else, he helped America to understand the heroism and sacrifices of her fighting men. For that achievement, the nation owes him its unending gratitude."

Army Chief of Staff George C. Marshall said,

"Ernie Pyle belonged to the millions of soldiers he had made his friends. His dispatches reached down into the ranks to draw out the stories of individual soldiers. He did not glorify war, but he did glorify the nobility, the simplicity and heroism of the American fighting man. The Army deeply mourns his death."

And according to an AP report at the time, Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower said of Pyle, "The GI's in Europe--and that means all of us here--have lost one of our best and most understanding friends."

The Colonel who was with him in the jeep when they were shot at, and Pyle was killed -- who in fact had just met him, yet instantly had fallen under his spell -- was reported to say, with tears in his eyes:

 

"I was so impressed with Pyle's coolness, calmness and his deep interest in enlisted men. They have lost their best friend."

(All the last five comments, starting with President Truman's, are from the New York Times' obituary of Ernie Pyle -- whose exceptional length testifies to the nation's love for him. That obituary is linked here.)

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Two observations:

One, we'd be hard-pressed to find a journalist today who could fill even a portion of Pyle's shoes, and be thought of - by veterans themselves - as their greatest friend.

And two, it's incredible what a difference one man's empathy for his fellow man, journalist to soldier, meant for communicating what combat veterans were experiencing to those who were safe at home.  I wish we had such a journalist today.  In the thicket of journalists and bloggers filled as it is with surfacey reflections and reflexive back-patting about how wonderful they are, generally without confirming evidence to support that point of view, I really don't see anyone who combat veterans would consider their authentic, genuine friend.  And without a voice like that, I wonder how well their causes and concerns are really being communicated.  Not in a "want list" for legislative action -- that's being done powerfully by groups like the IAVA and VoteVets -- but in simple, human terms: communicating the cost of war by those who are paying it.  I sure miss Ernie Pyle, even though he was long gone before I ever heard of him. 

Don't you?

Transforming the Scars of War from Within

Considering that we're often used to looking for solutions primarily from outside ourselves, instead of doing the often harder work of looking within, here are two interesting meditatations on what "scars" really are, and how they affect our lives.  Scars such as the ones we receive from war -- the external, obvious ones; and even the internal, less visible ones, which often mark us as profoundly.  How do we come to grips with being scarred, and yet move forward in our lives effectively? 

The first passage is by a Vietnam veteran, Claude Anshin Thomas, who has studied with Thich Nhat Hanh, and the other is by Den Ming Dao, a classical Taoist scholar, poet and artist.

First, Claude Anshin Thomas:

Our suffering is not our enemy

“Society teaches us that suffering is an enemy. We are constantly encouraged to reject what is unpleasant, disappointing or difficult. “What’s all this suffering? Let’s be happy! Have fun!” But our suffering is not our enemy. It is only through a relationship with my pain, my sadness, that I reach the other side, that I truly can know and touch the opposite, which is my pleasure, my joy and my happiness.

“I often relate to my emotional suffering as though it were a physical pain. When I feel physical pain, society pushes me to take mediation to relieve it, not to touch it, not to explore it or seek to understand it. I am conditioned to make every effort to avoid discomfort. I went through a long period of my life living from this conditioning. I took a lot of drugs, so many that I couldn’t feel my physical pain or my emotional or spiritual pain – at the same time, it was also impossible for me to touch genuine joy, or healing, or anything at all. It was just impossible.

“My body is covered with scars from my wars. Every time I look at my body, touch one of these scars, I touch against the reality of war, and when I touch the reality of war, I touch all the suffering that is intrinsic to war. In the past, when I felt pain from a scar, I tried to repress it, to hide it from myself. But the physical wounds are not the most significant wounds of war. The wounds of the soul, the spiritual wounds, the emotional wounds – they are far deeper, though less obvious. And they are much more unpleasant to look at.

“Can I imagine a time in the future when these scars and these experiences will dissolve, drop away, so that I will finally be free? This is not actually a condition of freedom. I’m free right now. Because I can acknowledge that the scars are there. Because I no longer wish for them to be any different from what they are. Don’t get me wrong. I spent a long time wishing that the scars of my life would just go away. But the more I wished for this, the crazier I felt. Because the reality is that my scars are part of me, like my own hand. I needed to learn to acknowledge them and to live with them in peace and harmony.”

-- At Hell’s Gate: A Soldier’s Journey from War to Peace, by Claude Anshin Thomas. Boston: Shambala Press (2004).

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And now, this by Den-Ming Dao, author of the superb book of daily contemplations, 365 Tao, which always start with a short poem:

Markings in dry clay disappear
Only when the clay is soft again.
Scars upon the self disappear
Only when one becomes soft within.

Throughout our life, but especially during our youth, many scars are inflicted upon us. Some of them are the results of violence, abuse, rape, or warfare. Others arise from bad education. A few come from humiliation and failure. Others are caused by our own misadventures. Unless we recover from these injuries, the scars mar us forever.

Classical scriptures urge us to withdraw from our own lusts and sins. But scars that have happened through no fault of our own may also bar us from spiritual success. Unfortunately, it is often easier to give up a bad habit than to recover from the incisions of others' violence. The only way is through self-cultivation. Doctors and priests can only do so much. The true course of healing is up to us alone. To do this, we must acquire many methods, travel widely, struggle to overcome our personal phobias, and perhaps most importantly of all, try to acquire as few new problems as possible. Unless we do, each one of them will bar us from true communion with Tao [the life force].

-- 365 Tao, Den-Ming Dao.

Swift Silent and Deadly - That's First Recon Marines - But It's Also Combat Trauma and PTSD

"Make that -- 'Swift, Silent, Deadly' -- and ridiculously hottt!"

That's a modified Paris Hilton-ism, we know, but... of course we're talking about Rudy Reyes, former 1st Recon Marine, playing himself on the HBO series, "Generation Kill," from the book of the same name, by Evan Wright. (If you've read Nate Fick's wonderful book, "One Bullet Away: The Making of a Marine Officer," you've also read about Rudy Reyes in that.)

We've written about Rudy Reyes before on this site; and we're secretly chuckling about how absurdly many people worldwide are searching for -- literally -- ANY scrap of news about The Hotness That Is Rudy-- or preferably any pictures.  His own website seems to be "under construction" -- let's hope it gets online soon to satisfy the teeming hordes of fans, internationally.

In the meantime, though -- it's important to remember that Rudy has seen and done, many many things in his time - in battles in Afghanistan and Iraq.  First Recon Marines are known as "Swift, Silent and Deadly" ... and if you think Marines in general are ROCK STARS (we certainly do -- our friend the Beautiful Redhead, married to a Marine officer, gave us a T-shirt that said just that) -- well, Recon Marines are all that and then some.  It's the most physically, emotionally, mentally demanding job in the Marine Corps.

If, while you're waiting around for Rudy Reye's website to become active, or learn more about his "Hero Living" DVD series planned -- you might want to take a few moments and educate yourself more fully about some of the downsides of being "the best of the best" -- it's the PTSD that can come from the obscene amounts of combat and arduous undertakings you're exposed to.  The good news is that not everyone gets PTSD.  The bad news is, the chances of it increase with exposure to combat trauma -- and, for those whom it affects, it's a battle harder than any fight they've ever had.

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Rob Honzell, who, like Rudy Reyes, was also a Marine sergeant in First Recon -- but in Vietnam -- has written a good book about his experiences.  He calls it "First Person: Combat PTSD," and it's pretty eye-opening.  I had it on my bookshelf for quite a while before I opened it and really gave it a read -- but when I did, I couldn't put it down.  Rob in the meantime has become a friend, and frankly I was feeling guilty about not having taken his book more seriously; so I did.  It's quite a book.  

If you know Rob at all, you know that the reason he's willing to plumb the depths that he has in this book, and draw water from the deep end of the pool, is because of his deep, abiding and heartfelt concern that veterans today not have to go through what he's gone through as a combat veteran with PTSD.  Rob spent "one year, seven months, and twenty-one days" as a Recon Marine in Vietnam -- and has fought courageously ever since, to keep a toehold in the land of the living, and the land of the sane.  For anyone who thinks that Vietnam vets with PTSD just check out of life and don't contribute to society, Rob isn't in that mold.  He had his fun -- years as a traveling musician in Canada (he was a drummer in a bar band) -- but also his serious side -- decades spent in law enforcement as a police officer, police chief, K-9 officer, and criminal justice teacher.  He's completed his master's degree, and is struggling to complete a Ph.D. in psychology -- so that he can help other veterans, with PTSD. 

First, though, he has to get his own case in check, and that's been an arduous battle since Vietnam, where the nightmares and hallucinations started, while he was still in combat.  Killing dozens of people, up close and personal has left its mark -- in his book he gets wistful over snipers having it easier, because at least they kill their targets at a distance, and don't have to get soaked with their victims' blood, or watch them take their last breath, from inches away. By the end of the book, when you realize how many people Rob killed in combat, and then also realize the kind, caring person he is (evidenced by his work in law enforcement, for instance -- his book shares some good stories about that) -- you can see why his experiences in Vietnam got to him. 

On the one hand, he was at the top of his game.  His prowess in Okinawan karate gave the Marines an opportunity to further hone his skill as a killing machine; and his overall smarts helped him to be a very strategic, effective one at that.  But one thing comes through loud and clear in his book: that the innocent, 17 year old boy who joined the Marines straight out of high school, and later raised his hand to volunteer for Recon, when the call went out -- that boy not only died in Vietnam, that boy had literally no idea what he was getting himself into. 

Was 40 years of nightmares and the torture of a PTSD-wracked life, with all that that entails, a "fair trade" for not even two heavy-duty years in Vietnam?  That's a tough one.  How about the health problems, coping struggles, failed marriages, hard relationships with children, and simple fight for sanity and survival?  Rob carries the memory of the people he killed, and the way he killed them, every day.  I think that's part of how you can tell he's a "good person" -- because it still bothers him -- in fact it started bothering him at the time.  But of course he had to suppress that, a) to survive and b) to continue to do a good job.  Ever since, though, those memories have been a constant companion, despite the amount of good he's done in his life, and continues to do.

He writes poignantly in the book about that 17 year old boy, who's long gone by now, except in spirit, as he talks about what he imagines the "end of the road" will be like:

"I don't know when or where my journey will end.  You don't terminate dozens of people's lives and not have to stand in front of God and ask his forgiveness.  I have used, and I have been used, in my life; and I'm sure I'll have to answer to God for that also. I know it sounds weird, but I hope to go into heaven as that 17 year old boy that was always smiling, laughing, loving, and full of life..."

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I have to say, because I've come to really care about Rob, I sure hope his "exit" isn't anytime soon.  But it's impossible to learn his story and not realize how high a price veterans can pay, in service to their country.  And the more intense the service -- like Recon Marines -- the more intense the price they're likely to have paid.  They deserve our respect, and honor, and with that, our compassion. 

In the civilian world, there's a concept called "Informed Consent." If someone informs you of the risks, say of surgery or medication, you can always evaluate them and decide pro or con.  Then, if something comes back to bite you later, at least you know that you were warned ahead of time, and made your own decision.  In the military world, obviously, not so much.

I seriously doubt that if any commanding officer had explained to that 17 year old guy at the time, "hey, you look to be in great physical shape, how'd you like to do a super-demanding job for us that's called being a Recon Marine" -- and then explained what the human cost of suffering would entail, for the next 40 years of his life -- that he'd have had any takers. I wonder sometimes whether even the officers knew what the costs would be for the recruits.  In any case, it's been one hell of a journey for Rob, during which he's contributed quite a bit of good to society, and also never been able to fully and completely manage the horrors of what being a Recon Marine exposed him to. 

I have to say, I'm proud of him for what he did -- both as a Marine, and as a veteran -- to do his job, no matter how terrible, excellently at the time, and then afterwards, have this considerable desire that other veterans not have to walk the same incredibly difficult path he's walked.  It's an honor to be his friend, and I hope that somewhere in the bazillions of hits from people wanting to find out about one former Recon Marine -- Rudy Reyes -- that they take the time to also learn about the life and struggles of another former Recon Marine -- Rob Honzell.  They're both worthy of our attention; but I wonder -- will they both receive it?  If you haven't picked up Rob's book, it's a short but effective education in what it takes to serve our country, and the cost that can exact from the veteran, in very human terms. 

I learned just the other day that Rob's counselor at the VA is hoping to recommend his book to all her patients who are combat veterans.  That's a nice, and belated, testament to the caring heart behind this warrior: someone who's willing to pull the skeletons out of his closet, in the hopes that more recent veterans, and their families and caregivers, will understand more quickly the tremendous costs of combat trauma in terms of human suffering among the participants.

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Rudy Reyes is also a gem: someone who's had a hard life and made much of it, given it his all, and is pretty much poised right now to be a star.  I know he knows firsthand the challenges of extreme combat, as a Recon Marine.  I hope that he will use some of his burgeoning celebrity power and charisma for good -- lending his influence for issues that concern wounded Marines and other servicemembers, like combat PTSD.  Like Rob Honzell before him, and his prowess with Okinawan karate, Rudy's facility with martial arts has been a big part of his success, and where he finds some much-needed personal balance. 

Wherever life takes these men, I hope that others will continue to be blessed for knowing them, and for the substantial contributions they have made, both in service to their country and beyond. In Rob Honzell's case, with the publication of his book devoted to making clear the lifetime cost in suffering from just one former Marine's longtime battle with PTSD, I'm pretty sure we already are.  Thank you, Rob.

Kanye West and MTV Share the Glow - And Help Some Struggling Veterans

"Dedicate some of your life to others.  Your dedication will not be a sacrifice.  It will be an exhilarating experience because it is an intense effort applied toward a meaningful end." -- Dr. Thomas Dooley

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Wow -- just wow.  It is thrilling to be here and watch this happening.  I hope it's even half as good as it looks, but it looks very, very good -- even wonderful.  Superstar entertainer Kanye West and MTV, along with MTV host Sway Calloway, team up to address with truth and candor some of the needs of hurting OEF/OIF veterans with PTSD today, in real time, while it's still happening - and it's possible to do something constructive about it. How cool is that?!

The MTV documentary special titled 'Choose or Lose & Kanye West Present: Homecoming,' will air this Monday night, July 28 at 10 p.m.  It seems like a "Don't Miss" piece of "appointment television."  (Be sure to watch the video linked below -- it's well done and, in places, riveting -- thanks to the vets themselves, and Kanye's candor and concern, which are clearly genuine.)

According to the article on AOL Music's website, linked here:

"The stories of the veterans from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are important and worth telling." MTV's Executive Vice President of News Dave Sirulnick said, saying that the network and West "felt it was time to listen to them and show them the same interest by giving something back."

This is just GREAT.

Sure he's gonna give them stuff -- sort of Oprah-like in that regard -- and help them get back on their feet -- and that's wonderful (though some might argue they shouldn't be in the position of needing to be rescued, anyway -- we should be taking better care of veterans as a country, and as a military.)  But it's not the handout or the hand up that's so impressive here: it's the veterans, it's MTV, and its Kanye.

The veterans have great stories to tell, and you want to see them succeed.  MTV deserves props for putting their resources behind getting this show made.  And Kanye, well, he impresses. He talks to survivors like another survivor, with warmth, empathy, care and concern - and you can tell the veterans feel, equally importantly, helped AND heard. 

"I've had a lot of struggles in my life this year," he says to one of them (I'm paraphrasing), and continues, "I know you have, too."  "I came here to encourage you and do something about your problems," he adds in another section (again, my paraphrase); "but you've encouraged me," he says to the vet, "you've inspired me to be a better person, and make better decisions."  This is good stuff, and has so much power to heal.  (The old Paul Tillich line we've blogged about here before: "The first duty of love is to listen.")

Well, and if you're a celebrity, it's phenomenal, and surprisingly (shockingly?!) rare, to actually use your public persona and clout (plus cash!) for good.  For years, among women celebrities at least, Oprah has been a rare and shining light of socially-conscious giving that calls others higher, but few seem to follow.  And socially-conscious giving as opposed to a welfare-y handout or cash prize for having a desperate situation, riddled with plugs from sponsors.  From her "Remembering Your Spirit" segments from the 1990s to Oprah's Angel Network and beyond, she has set such a good example of digging down deeply into the difficult, troubling areas, and bringing up something that has the potential for catharsis -- in the subject, and often the viewer as well. 

Is Kanye following Oprah on this path?  For the extent of this documentary special, if nothing else, he seems to be -- and that in itself is fantastic, and refreshing. Converting pain into breakthroughs and overcoming adversity with help and courage -- wow -- who wouldn't be a fan of that?  I certainly am.  It's both a generous, and an inclusive, gesture, that draws the viewer in.

Even the title, "Homecoming," is well-chosen.  You can see from reading Pat's story yesterday, linked here, that "homecoming" isn't always what it's cracked up to be. The pain from his, gone wrong, has followed him for decades -- and his story is typical. Homecoming is the celebration that starts a veteran's transition back into the community he left.  It can go well or badly: he or she can be embraced, neglected, or shunned.  It sets the pace for the decades afterward and we can see from a story like Pat's what happens when it goes horribly wrong. 

But the word, "homecoming" SHOULD mean, "Welcome Back!" "We're thrilled to have you; we're very glad you're home."  "Thank you for coming back to us; let us help you to be whole."  What does the (erm) Good Book say? "Bind up the wounded" -- and not with needless bureaucracy and red tape, but with warmth and love, care and concern.  Will Kanye and MTV, even with their great resources, be accomplishing all that?  Nah, but they're making an impressive start.  Kudos to Kanye for using his celebrity for good, in a very tough (his mom's unexpected death) and very successful (his "Glow in the Dark" tour, which has been eclipsing all expectations) year.  And heartfelt thanks to him and MTV for not forgetting veterans.

[Editor's note: Kanye West's foundation in honor of his mother, Dr. Donda C. West, is linked here.  It does not, however (at least not yet) contain information about this veterans effort with MTV.]

<p>&lt;p&gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.mtv.com/news/" target="_blank"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Kanye West and Choose Or Lose Presents: Homecoming&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/p&gt;</p> <p>&lt;p&gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.mtv.com/news/" target="_blank"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Kanye West and Choose Or Lose Presents: Homecoming&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/p&gt;</p>

Kanye West and Choose Or Lose Presents: Homecoming

"Winners Go to Harvard, Losers Go to Vietnam..."

(Cough, cough -- sounds like bullsh*t to me!)

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The post title comes from a wonderful -- though not to him, and not at the time -- reminiscence sent to me lately by a Vietnam veteran buddy, telling his sad tale of woe about linking up with an old high school friend on homecoming, and getting essentially tossed under the bus.  

I'll include Pat's retelling here, because it's much better than I could do paraphrasing it, but really -- there needs to be a special circle of hell reserved for dirtbags like this guy he mentions.  I wonder if anything happens to them in their later lives that would somehow even the score.  Perhaps they develop some compassion, or maybe if they do, it's just too little, too late. 

(In a reverse post-script added here before the text, not after, I have gone back and checked with Mother Harvard -- who practically keeps a retina scan of all of us who've ever gone there, in the vault, just in case we end up wealthy and can donate the big bux -- and the guy in question seems not even to have attended, let alone graduated from there, which only makes this story that much more painful to contemplate.) 

Herewith, Pat's story about a homecoming moment that has stuck with him ever since.  To set the stage, he had just finished fighting in Khe Sanh, in 1966, on his first tour with the Marine Corps, 2/9, H & S "Flames" Company:

"The C-130 took off immediately with us all tucked safely aboard on our way to the real world, The United States of America and for me; Houston, TEXAS.  On the hop from Hawaii to the world, I was thinking about my mom and dad, my two brothers and two sisters, my sweetheart-Betty Jo and all of the high school friends that I had left behind and even about my coach and teachers. 

I began to daydream that would get off of the plane in Houston and everyone would be there to meet me and they would all run out to me and hug me and cry.  I would take Betty into my arms and kiss her and swing her around in the air as I held her close to me.  We would laugh, we would cry and we would kiss.  She would smell so wonderful and would be so soft and it would be all great.  They would all shout and cheer and clap for me and push around me to reach out and touch my uniform.  I would be appreciated. 

I would go to this big homecoming party and there would be a "Welcome Home banner," eggnog, lots of hot food, every Christmas decoration ever made and everyone would be overjoyed to see me and so proud of me and elated that I had made it back alive.  I would be like a real hero and the center of attention.  

I would borrow my big brother Mike's 1965 red Ford Mustang and cruise by my old high school and everyone would be pumped to see me, have missed me, flock around me and want to know what I had been through.  I guess I really did want to be like my dad, a real war hero.  We had been deep in the bush on the verge of being overrun by a NVA Division, taking many casualties, less than 36 hours before -- and my brain could not seem to make the transition. 

We finally landed at Travis Air Force Base in California, the ramp went down and mules were there to unload the caskets on.  We filed off, were directed to a taxi area and caught a cab to the San Francisco Airport.  And then just like that we were walking around in downtown America.  I was so uncomfortable that I almost wanted to get back on the C-130 and go back to Nam... 

The airport was real busy and I don’t remember much except being real uptight and anxious like I expected something to jump out and get me.  There were mostly military personnel loading and unloading so I didn’t feel totally out of place with the people but just uneasy with the surroundings. 

We caught our flight to Houston, TX and it was very nice.  I remember smelling the perfume of the flight attendants and then the realization hit me: honest to God, I really was back in the “world”. 

But it all still kind of seemed like a dream, like I would move from real time to slow motion and back and always through a haze. 

I then allowed myself to let my guard down and I began to get real excited and almost cried but choked it back.

We landed and taxied into Houston Hobby Airport and my heart was pounding so fast and hard that I could feel it in my ears.  I was really, really excited!! 

As we came down the stair ramp I could see a crowd of people -- moms and dads, sisters and brothers, girlfriends and friends -- all running toward us and hugging the people disembarking from the plane.  They were laughing, crying, and talking loudly and excitedly.  I became to be overcome with emotion and my eyes completely teared up and I couldn’t see.  I couldn’t wait to see all of those I had waited so long to see.  As the crowd moved in small groups to the terminal I searched the area and the realization also hit me; no one was there to greet me. 

I was finally back home and all alone.  My breath went out of me in a gasp and a pain hit me like a bullet in the gut. I actually got dizzy.  I was left standing on the tarmac by myself as the crowd of people cleared out.  My heart sank to the bottom of my shoes with disappointment.  In all of the rush to get home, I had forgotten to call anyone and let them know that I was even coming home.  I had come from hell to paradise and no one even knew about it.  Man, I really felt bad. 

Even though it was my fault, I started getting really angry and went into the terminal to pick up my sea bag. Everyone was rushing every which way.  I guess I thought that everyone should have known I had just returned from Nam but they all just pushed past and around me like I didn’t even exist.  I wanted to shout: “Hey, I just got back from the friggin bush; I left buddies back there. I just came out of combat and was killing gooks two days ago.  Doesn’t anyone give a friggin damn?!”  But no one even looked at me. 

As I was making my way through the crowd, I spotted a friend of mine from Memorial High School, Jim Baird.  He and I had been on the high school swimming team together but he was from the upper class Memorial area and I was from the middle class Spring Branch area.  I thought we were friends, though. 

My heart jumped; here was my chance, someone to welcome me home and it was one of my ole swimming buddies.  I moved up behind him and said: “Hey Jim, where have you been?”  He turned, looked at me in my Class A’s and got a frown on his face.  He said coldly: “I’m going to Harvard”. He then turned abruptly away from me.  He didn’t even ask anything about me at all. 

I touched him on the shoulder and said: “Hey buddy, how have you been.  I’m real glad to see you again.  I’ve been in Vietnam for the past year.”  He said: “Why? Only losers go to Vietnam, winners go to Harvard.”  And he just turned again and walked off like I wasn’t alive. 

I was completely caught off guard and was actually shocked.  I had never expected anything like this.  To be rudely snubbed by someone I thought was a close friend.  I had heard of this back “in country” but really didn’t believe it.  My eyes watered up again but this time from God Damned seething anger and I hated the fucking world and everyone in it.   No one really did give a tinker's damn about us or if we were there or not.  I wanted to track him down and kill the son of a bitch."

---

Well, Pat, I wasn't gonna offer to help you track him and kill him -- and I know that's just a figure of speech you're using ;-) -- but I figured even at this long-distant remove, that if I helped you find him -- you could at least leave him a flaming paper bag of cowsh*t on his doorstep, ring the doorbell, and hide in the bushes while you watched, with pleasure, his attempting to stamp out the flames (in his loafers, with no socks?! It's a Harvard thing.  You wouldn't understand :-). 

(The flaming bag of cow poo is an age-old, country-esque revenge fantasy, conflated in my mind with the wonderful one Richard Brautigan wrote about in "The Good Work of Chickens" -- that involves dumping several tons of chickensh*t on someone's lawn who he's annoyed with, to teach them a lesson.) 

But the reality is, it doesn't sound like the guy even went to Harvard, after all.  So I'm not able to be of that much help.

However, Pat might be pleased to know -- in addition to his tormentor probably having been quite the BS-er himself -- than in the meantime, Harvard has developed some sensitivity towards veterans -- there's even a veterans group at Harvard, linked here. (They say that "there are thousands of living Harvard Veterans, and more than 1,200 Harvard graduates have given their lives in war." - 1,200 isn't a lot, proportional to the rest of the U.S., but it's still better than say, "none.")

According to their site:

"It is interesting to note that, on any given day, there are more than 150 members of the Armed Forces of the United States present in the classrooms and activities of Harvard University. 

There are approximately 85 returning Veterans who are pursuing degrees at the Harvard Business School, while 60, mostly active duty officers , are in Master’s Degree or Executive programs at the Harvard Kennedy School. There are small numbers of Veterans at other Harvard Graduate Schools, and 35 or so students are in the ROTC program at Harvard College, which is administered through the Paul Revere Battalion at MIT."

Also, although there's some dispute about whether Thucydides could ever have said this, there IS a quote attributed to him that has inspired smart Ivy League types to also become soldiers and Marines.  The quote that motivates them is this: "The nation that makes a great distinction between its scholars and its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting done by fools."  Well, it's a catchy phrase, anyhow -- and gets its point across.

I can't remember whether that quote is one that inspired Nate Fick to become a (now a former) Marine officer -- Fick is a graduate of both Harvard's Kennedy School of Government, and the Harvard Business School -- he quotes a different Thucydides one in his superlative book, One Bullet Away: The Making of a Marine Officer":

"We should remember that one man is much the same as another, and that he is best who is trained in the severest school."

(Not sure whether that "severest school," though, is the Marine Corps, or Harvard, or both :-) 

In any case, just to prove that Harvard has in fact come a long way since not sending very many of its sons and daughters off to war, I was able to be an invited guest several years ago at a celebration honoring Harvard graduates who were veterans, held at the Harvard Business School, around the time of the Marine Corps' birthday.  The room was filled with all sorts of people, in uniform and out, milling around, networking, and really, it seemed like a great cross-section of graduates, from the very old to the very young, from the retired and former servicemembers to those who had just signed up. 

(It also provided me with one of my Embarrassing Life Moments -- asking a smartly-dressed man*, who later turned out to be a multi-star general out of uniform, and the keynote speaker -- what his "outfit" was, because it was so "interesting" and "beautiful."  To which he gamely replied, after explaining what it was, "and who, by the way, are you?!" or words to that effect.  He was probably more so looking to ask, "and who let the riffraff in"?!)  In any case, here's a photo or two from that event, which Nate Fick was actually emceeing.  Just to prove that there are in fact, graduates of Harvard who are also veterans -- though it truly seems that Pat's tormentor, above, actually had spine enough to be neither...

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There's also an interesting OpEd piece from a recent issue of Military.com, in which another former Marine who served in Vietnam -- though later than Pat, above -- talks about the classic town v. gown disparity in who actually serves.  It's called, tellingly, "The Somerville Marines," and I wish someone in the Harvard veterans community would either confirm or rebut it, because it seems to need to a response from the other side of the fence.  (Somerville is one of Harvard University's poorer, working class neighbors, and the article's author, Joseph Kinney, makes the point that it sends disproportionately too many of its sons and daughters to die, versus Harvard.  The article is linked here.)

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Editor's note: * My mistake, obviously, but hey, he didn't look like the guy in the published program -that guy was wearing a khaki green uniform -- and I'd never met a multi-star general before :-)  (Or since, either...)  Of course, it's faux pas like these that clearly explain why I blog :-) No social graces whatsoever :-)

Heaven and Hell within Us: The Yin and the Yang of the Battle That Rages on the Inside

I was looking for something else entirely today when I came across this passage, from Deng Ming-Dao's extraordinary 365 Tao.  See if at least the middle section doesn't sound an awful lot like a veteran's struggle with PTSD.  He writes:

"Meditation opens seldom glimpsed areas of our subconscious. When that happens, extraordinary thoughts and awareness come to us with seeming spontaneity. We realize truths that were opaque to us before; we perceive events that were previously too distant. But no one ever became superhuman because of meditation. They only opened their own latent potential. Everything is locked inside of us and need only be opened. That is why it is said that heaven is within us.

In the same way, the pains and the struggles of the past sometimes haunt us with astounding vehemence. Problems and conflicts are difficult to exorcise. Although we may practice spirituality and move on to new endeavors and relationships, past hurts still come back in our memories and dreams. These are not demons from another world, nor are they karmic manifestations of previous lives; they are scars in our subconscious. No matter how diligently we try to make progress, there still are pains that curse us day after day. This is why it is said that hell is within us.

We ourselves are the battleground for good and evil. There is no need to look beyond our world. Everything to be understood is within us. All that must be transcended -- the pains and scars of the past -- is within us. All the power of transcendence is also within us. Tap into it and you tap into the divine itself."

Source: 365 Tao, by Deng Ming-Dao. (For a web-based version of this superb book, click here.)

Would Expanding Awards of the Purple Heart to Include PTSD Help End the Stigma?

A few months ago, a debate began in military and veteran circles that may continue for years: Whether the Purple Heart, traditionally reserved for awarding to those killed or wounded in battle, should be extended to include also "invisible wounds" of battle, like PTSD.  There are no easy answers.

Said an article at the time, in the Wall Street Journal:

"The dispute reflects a broader question roiling the military: Can psychological traumas, no matter how debilitating, be considered equivalent to devastating physical wounds?

Supporters of awarding the Purple Heart to veterans with PTSD believe the move would reduce the stigma that surrounds the disorder and spur more soldiers and Marines to seek help without fear of limiting their careers.

“These guys have paid at least as high a price, some of them, as anybody with a traumatic brain injury, as anybody with a shrapnel wound,” Dr. John Fortunato, who runs a military PTSD treatment facility in Texas, told reporters recently. Absent a policy change, Fortunato told reporters, service members will mistakenly believe that PTSD is a “wound that isn't worthy.”

Opponents argue that the Purple Heart should be reserved for physical wounds, as has been the case since the medal was reinstituted by Congress in 1932. Military regulations say the award should go to those with injuries “received in action with an enemy.” Some opponents also note that PTSD can be faked, which can't easily be done with a physical wound.

“The Purple Heart was meant to be a badge of honor to show you were wounded in battle,” said Bob Mackey, a retired Army lieutenant colonel who fought in the first and second Iraq wars. “I've been in combat three times. There's stuff I've had to deal with. But it's substantially different from being physically hurt.”

Mackey said the biggest difference is that some veterans may be diagnosed with PTSD even if they never saw combat or fought an enemy – requirements, historically, for receiving a Purple Heart."

Military.com also conducted a poll on its website about the issue (see graphic), and only about 1/3 (33%) of the respondents voted "yes" to awarding the purple heart for PTSD.  58% voted "no," and another 9% rode the fence, saying "perhaps" -- but only if PTSD were diagnosed in the war zone, which really affects far fewer people.

The IAVA's Ray Kimball wrote a good op-ed piece at Military.com in favor of expanding the award -- that's linked here.

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The more you talk with veterans who have PTSD, the more you realize how long the effects can be -- vets who are still struggling mightily with events that occurred 40, 50, sometimes even 60 years before (as well as a lot more recently than that.)  The sheer extent of the suffering, to me, puts this allegedly "invisible wound" on a par with ones that can be more clearly seen.  Though seriously, I bet if you ask a knowledgeable spouse or family member, the so-called "invisible" wound of PTSD is fairly easy to "see" in the the effect its had on the life of the veteran, and his or her family.  Studies like the one conducted on Vietnam veterans in Australia even shows residual effects on family members of veterans with PTSD into the second generation.  It may be "invisible," though I don't think it particularly "is," but it's certainly also "the gift that keeps on grieving," as one veteran so aptly put it.

It's weird and a tad unpleasant to see a divide developing (or perhaps the divide was always there, and is just now being articulated) between those with external and internal injuries -- especially since the ones injured externally seem to be the ones "pooh-poohing" the validity of the more internal injuries. Then, of course, there are those who've suffered both kinds.  Max Cleland comes to mind, the former Secretary of the VA, who decades after Vietnam learned he had PTSD, in addition to his obvious physical wounds as a triple amputee -- we blogged about him, here -- as do some other veterans who have unfortunately passed on.  Perhaps we need to hear more from those veterans who understand both types of injuries, and learn which side they argue in this debate. 

Typically, suffering begets compassion -- people can be fairly un-feeling about topics they've yet to have experienced personally, discounting motives and pain quotients alike -- so who better to understand which types of wounds really "count" than those who have cruelly suffered both? My guess is it's going to be from this corner that the rest of us learn how to more properly weight the stunning, substantial and frequently lifetime effects of this so-called "invisible wound" we refer to as PTSD.

Lawrence C. Kolb, M.D. - Eminent PTSD Psychiatrist and Friend of Veterans

Right up there with Ben Franklin, Mark Twain, and yes -- Bruce Lee -- I have to say, THIS is a person I wish I'd gotten the chance to know while he was still alive  What an interesting figure he cuts across the history of PTSD research and treatment...

Lawrence C. Kolb was a leader in the community psychiatry movement, and a talented researcher and clinician who was the chair of the psychiatry department at Columbia University Medical Center.  His obituary, from the New York Times, is linked here, and it shows the breadth and extent of his remarkable career, in brief highlights.  He even served in the Navy, and possibly studied "battle fatigue" among World War II veterans.  He is known for his work studying "phantom limb pain" among amputee veterans, among other accomplishments.  He also seems to have been elected president of the American Psychiatric Association, serving from 1968 to 1969.

A lifelong learner and contributor, it wasn't until after his retirement from Columbia -- at the end of what would have been a very full life for anyone else -- that Kolb, at 71, applied himself to the study of PTSD among Vietnam war veterans.

As his obituary points out, "...in the early 1980s, nearing retirement, he led studies that demonstrated how combat stress could cause clear physical symptoms — a finding that helped prompt the government to undertake large studies of post-traumatic symptoms among Vietnam veterans."   

I first heard Kolb's name in connection with a machine he'd designed that measured galvanic skin response (similar to the method employed by lie detectors) to test Vietnam veterans for combat-based PTSD.  My understanding -- from the Vietnam veteran and longtime history teacher from upstate New York, who had met Kolb and been tested on his machine -- was that the machine took much of the "guesswork" out of determining whether a vet had actually seen combat and was suffering from combat-related post-traumatic stress disorder.  With the diagnosis simplified, the focus could then shift to treatment. 

Why would speedy diagnosis be so important, for vets with PTSD?  There's a phrase in the legal biz that "Justice delayed = Justice denied." The same could be said of the PTSD diagnosis and claims approval process.  The longer either of those takes, the more misery the veteran and his or her family is in -- and the more they risk homelessness and despair.  The quicker and more effectively a veteran can be diagnosed, start the claims approval process, and get his or her claim approved, the quicker they can begin to put the diagnosis behind them and go on with the rest of their lives.  It seems like a machine like this must have been a real boon to the process, yet it also seems like it was popular for a time, and then strangely fell out of favor.  I'm unclear why, when it seems like it would have conferred such benefit.

Reading Gerald Nicosia's excellent book, Home to War: A History of the Vietnam Veterans' Movement, which profiles a few of the leading figures in PTSD treatment and research among its almost 700 pages (hardbound), I expected to read more about Lawrence Kolb, M.D., his work with veterans with PTSD, and his remarkable machine -- but nothing was mentioned.  I asked the author why, and his response was that even a great researcher sometimes misses something, or somebody.  In this case, missing Kolb would seem to be a great loss.  I really wish he was still alive today, to make sense of PTSD for another generation of veterans, and tp push for comprehensive, fair treatment of veterans with PTSD - another one of his signature approaches.

As his New York Times obituary points out, in one of the last papers he published, he makes a plea for more humane treatment of drug offenders.  Think of these same words, applied to veterans suffering from combat trauma and/or PTSD:

“There is only one way to deal with an individual who is sick, with dignity, compassion, care, confidentiality and without discrimination.”

Lawrence C. Kolb, M.D., (June 16, 1911 - October 20, 2006.)  A true great among psychiatrists.  Your presence, wisdom and compassion for veterans are sorely missed today.

Editor's note: Kolb did leave an extensive bibliography of published papers, many of which are still available in medical journals, online, and via the public and academic library systems.

There's a Revolution Going On: Users Rate Their Drug and Non-Drug Treatments for PTSD

We're just about to wrap up our series here -- a cycle of blog posts about the various treatments available for PTSD from the pharmaceutical, Complementary and Alternative Medicine ("CAM"), and mind-body medicine worlds. We've talked about bodywork therapies that show promise. Heck, we've even talked about street drugs like marijuana and ecstasy that appear to have some beneficial effects as well! (Sheesh -- we're not recommending them, per se -- we're just trying to do a comprehensive look at everything reasonable that's out there, that might help sufferers.)

We started this cycle of blog posts back in the beginning of June, with one about how the military was expanding its concept of treatment options to include some "revolutionary" non-drug approaches, linked here.  (We'll add to the cycle of posts over time as the need indicates, but the bulk of it is already done on this topic. This post also builds on a previous post, which talked about how a layperson can learn more about the effects and side-effects of medications prescribed, as well as where to learn about possible warnings when used in combination with other medications.  That post is linked here.) 

One of the most interesting developments is something I get to share with you now -- that a year or so ago when I first learned about it, was not robust enough to be of much value to PTSD sufferers.  Perhaps by now it really is.  The "it" I'm talking about here is something called "Revolution Health," the brainchild of AOL co-founder and marketing genius Steve Case, a project he began in 2005, after he left AOL.

Revolution Health is a number of things, but particularly for our purposes here's it's an online "community" of other patients who give their impressions, pro and con, of the treatments they're using for various illnesses and conditions -- including PTSD -- and not just of all the popular pharmaceutical medications, but also the non-drug therapies as well.  Finally, in one place, patients can check out what other people's experiences of the same drugs or therapies they've been prescribed, along with more straightforward information about the treatments themselves, the possible side-effects.  Clearly, for something like this to work, there need to be a LOT of people checking in and providing their impressions. 

When I first checked out the site, those numbers just weren't there.  It's not so exciting, interesting, or frankly even helpful to learn what three people think of a medication or a non-drug treatment like acupuncture or craniosacral therapy -- it gets a LOT more interesting as more people participate.  Such seems to be the case these days (no pun intended) -- but act quickly -- the site has been experiencing layoffs, and with Web businesses, even those founded by geniuses like Steve Case, you never really can count on how long they'll be around.  So be sure to check out what interests you while you still can.

This is what the site said a year ago about itself, which is still good advice:

This service is in its infancy, but our philosophy is that if millions of people participate, it will emerge as a useful tool for people as they consider their treatment options. Please note that treatments include a mix of some that are designed to directly treat a condition, some that treat side effects, some that provide symptomatic relief.

While individual real-life experiences can be a valuable health resource, they must be viewed in the context of evidence-based data and are not a substitute for medical advice. You should always consult a qualified health care professional before beginning, changing or stopping a treatment.

Now let's get down to business:

Want to learn how other participants rank, rate and review the various treatments for PTSD, both drug and non-drug? (Currently there are dozens suggested!), say, Duloxetine? Click here, for a list of the various, searchable treatments. (Better yet, click herefor them ranked by users in order of effectiveness!)  Want to take a look specifically at the pharmaceutical drugs for PTSD? Click here.  How about the various non-drug treatments for PTSD?  They're there, too, by name.  (You can sort either set of results by "most helpful," "most recent," and "highest effectiveness" on any individual treatment (of the 363) or on the category as a whole.)

Note: Be aware that not everyone who's weighing in with their opinion on what treatment they're loving or hating for PTSD has combat trauma-induced PTSD.  They may have PTSD from some completely other cause.  However, as far as relatabilty goes, this is the best we're gonna get for now -- a "Revolution Health" for veterans only does not appear to be in the works.  Ahhh, but we can dream, can't we?!

To reinforce the warning, though -- given the fact that nothing's permanent on the Web, especially "revolutionary business models," get in -- get your information -- and get out -- in case the website goes away, and/or the company goes out of business.  We sincerely hope that Revolution Health sticks around, because it's performing a useful AND innovative, visionary function --  but even more than that, we want YOU to get the information you're looking for, while you still can.  Oh, and if you sign up to be a member -- I believe that it's free -- you can also contribute your ratings to the user-generated rankings.

There's a Revolution going on...in health care.  Get yours now, while it lasts.

Editor's note: The usual "yada."  Be sure to consult with a qualified health care practitioner before changing or implementing a course of treatment, to make sure that the choices you make are appropriate and best for you.  We are presenting this material as information only, and it's not to be construed as medical advice.  If we could, we would; but we can't, so we won't.  There, we've said it.

Moving Violations, or the Needle in the Red Zone - Combat Veterans and Adrenaline Addiction

Adrenaline in combat helps the servicemember stay alive, and execute the plan.  Being addicted to the same adrenaline rushes after combat, though -- back on the home front -- can go from being an asset to a liability -- especially behind the wheel or on the motorcycle, and contributes to the sad phenomenon known as "non-combat deaths" from various origins.

Enough returning combat veterans kill themselves through reckless driving that different steps are being taken to warn participants of the semi-obvious dangers:

The Guardian (UK) newspaper has a story in today's paper, previously published yesterday in the Observer (UK), about the the British military's current advertising campaign to warn returned servicemembers about the dangers of amped-up, reckless driving.  The article, "Ads warn soldiers back from war zones against reckless driving," is linked here.

Says the article, "British soldiers are twice as likely as civilians to die as a result of reckless driving, because they have difficulty adjusting to normal life after returning home from active duty, according to official statistics."  The ads feature catchy slogans, such as "Drive Carefully.  You're Tough, but Not Invincible," and one directed to motorcyclists, "You're An Accident Waiting to Happen."  Hmmmn.  Those ads are likely to catch people's attention -- in fact, almost 60% of troops surveyed said they would think about slowing down, said the article, after considering them.

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Rick Roger's article in the May 23 issue of the San Diego Union-Tribune talked about the rash of non-combat fatalities among Marines at Camp Pendleton, many of whom had died in motorcycle fatalities.  Five Marines had died in the past eight days, where the "confirmed or probable causes" were homicide, suicide and traffic accidents. The article described Marine commanders and commands "backtracking to see if we need to do anything different to avoid these things happening again.”

It also clarified:

“Two of these deaths were caused by apparent motorcycle accidents, an area of deep concern for our Corps as motorcycle fatalities continue to rise at an alarming rate,” the statement said. “In a recently released All-Marine Message, the commandant outlines guidance and directives designed to curb motorcycle injuries and fatalities.”

Motorcycle-related deaths in the Marine Corps have risen every year since 2004, when there were seven. Last year, there were 19, according to the Naval Safety Center.

As for efforts to minimize combat stress and substance abuse, Camp Pendleton officials said the base has programs, policies and officers devoted to outreach and education. They also said each unit conducts monthly random drug tests on a mandated percentage of its Marines."

(Since that article was published, even more Marines have died as a result of motorcycle accidents.  See the article by Trista Talton in Friday's Marine Corps Times, linked here.  She writes, "Twenty Marines have died in motorcycle wrecks since Oct. 1, making this fiscal year the deadliest on record despite the Corps’ efforts to reduce two-wheel fatalities."  YIKES.

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From an article in the May 13, 2008 edition of the Marine Corps Times:

The new order, a work in progress for about six months, was initiated because of the number of motorcycle fatalities and injuries occurring within II MEF. From October 2007 to January 2008, more II MEF Marines died in motorcycle wrecks than in combat.

According to the order, released April 29, most of those deaths involved junior Marines and included things such as reckless behavior, blatant disregard of orders and policies, lack of proper training, little driving experience, alcohol and willfully disobeying state and federal traffic laws.

Information about the order is linked here.

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"Adrenaline addiction" is a familiar concept but by no means an official diagnosis (there are, however, informal support groups for it, on the Web, although I wonder if they're not just catchy names for invitations to drag racing and hang gliding events :-).

Sgt. Chad T. Jones wrote about it, back in April of 2004, in an article called "Flipping Off the Switch Can Save Your Life," linked here, first published in a Fort Bliss military publication, called the NCO Journal.  He introduced the article by saying:

A Soldier who has recently returned from Iraq might experience a need for a combat-level rush, called adrenalin addiction. The cravings for this excitement could kill him, but a patient, informed leader can intervene to save the Soldier’s life.

This information is a little on the generic side (in other words, seems like common sense) -- but apparently it's worth thinking about for those who haven't already considered it.  (It would be interesting, too, to learn the age ranges of those surveyed, above, who thought that just seeing the ad's message would reinforce their behavior towards slowing down and being more reasonable.  My guess is those were the older survey participants, because with age comes wisdom -- or so they say -- and/or the change to experience a few close calls with reckless behavior, which also has an impact on slowing us down.

From the same 2004 article:

Adrenaline addiction is something Soldiers returning from deployment are susceptible to, and is described as the need to engage in excitement-seeking behavior, said Col. Robert Gifford (Dr.), associate professor of psychiatry, Uniformed Services University of Health Sciences.

“Soldiers, when they come back from a deployment, have often been observed engaging in ‘excitement-seeking behavior.’ It includes a lot of people who liked excitement before and
Soldiers who come back [from a deployment] and miss the excitement, and sense of purpose that comes with a deployment,” Gifford said.

Usually, Soldiers are able to adjust their lifestyle or compensate for the lower operation tempo, but unfortunately other Soldiers “can’t find adequate ways to fulfill themselves, and they become excitement junkies,” said Lt. Col. (Dr.) David M. Benedek, associate professor of psychiatry, Uniformed Services University of Health Sciences.

Specific evidence stating why a Soldier seeks danger is not existent, Gifford said. But a popular opinion among medical professionals is that Soldiers are trying to replace the constant adrenaline needed to be successful in a combat environment.

“Operational or combat environments require a sense of alertness all of the time and it is very difficult to turn that off when you return home. Even though Soldiers are glad to be home, many found features they enjoyed while deployed,” Gifford said. “Sure it’s hot and miserable, but there is a sense of purpose. Suddenly, you’re home and those senses of purpose or excitement are suddenly gone, and people may not want to give that up so quickly.”

One way emotion leads to the reckless behavior is that Soldiers feel indestructible when they get home because they survived combat. That carelessness or sense of being indestructible can be dangerous, Gifford said. “Clearly any person who gets involved with risky behavior puts themselves in a position to get hurt, or killed,” he said.

While "adrenaline addiction" or being an adrenaline "junkie" isn't a true "addiction," as defined by the experts, there are some obvious similarities, including developing cravings for the environmental stimulants that provide the adrenaline rush -- many of which were available in combat situations, but not on the home front.  It's hard for many returning servicemembers to calm down -- and this is understandable -- after the rigors and the scares of combat.

Says the article:

"Upon detection [of the problem], leaders have many options they can use to help the Soldier. “There are a variety of mental health sources,” he said, but many Soldiers feel more comfortable talking to Chaplains or someone else. The important thing is to get the problem surfaced.”  Once the problem is brought to light, it’s important to figure out why the behavior is occurring. “Reckless behavior may be a signal of a number of illnesses or situational things that might resolve itself on its own or it might take a medical professional to figure out what to do,” [Col. Robert] Gifford said."

As I'm typing this out, though, I'm reading an email from a favorite Vietnam vet, telling me about the battle for Hill 881, and saying, in part, "without masses of adrenaline rushing through us, we couldn't have done this..." Aye, there's the rub.  Sometimes it's a total asset to have it; and just as easily, it becomes a grave liability.  Context is everything.

If you remember watching the Kellee Twiggs video (SSgt. Travis Twigg's wife, speaking after his death from PTSD), you will recall her talking about how jumpy her husband was -- how he couldn't sit still long enough to watch a movie with her and the kids; that his legs were always twitching.  To a certain degree, this must be a conditioned response from combat -- all that hyper-alertness turns into just plain jumpiness, with nowhere to go.  No wonder people try to bleed it off, doing risky things -- it keeps the feedback loop primed.

Sad to say, though, it's a feature of post-deployment life that servicemembers will need to get a handle on, through any reasonable means necessary -- and with good advice from practitioners they trust -- because failing to do so will prolong their suffering, and put their safety and sometimes that of other people's at risk.  Good for the British to be doing these ads, but as the popular saying goes, you can't really regulate human behavior. Suggesting that there might be a problem, though -- may be what amounts to a start.  An attempt to get the needle back out of the red zone...

Doing My Time in Hell - War Just "Dirt, Death, Misery and Guilt," Not Glory - Say Veterans

This photograph of an American soldier displaying his ink about combat is by the noted photographer Zoriah, and is used with permission of the photographer.  (Zoriah's blog is linked here.) 

The tattoo reads: "Walk peacefully on heaven's streets,You've done your time in Hell."

Ahhh, if it only were that "easy." 

I've been keeping one eye on Zoriah's situation lately -- he's the embedded humanitarian war photographer whose iconic images of the true horrors of war apparently got him kicked out of Iraq -- and the other on some writing of Vietnam veterans, all of them Marines (but not for any particular reason), about what it was really like to "be there."  The outcome of my faux research?  Sounds like up close and personal, war can be plenty of "guts," but not necessarily all that much "glory."

"The flashbacks and the hallucinations manifested themselves while I was still in [combat], says one Vietnam veteran, adding, "They have stayed with me for the last forty years." (Rob Honzell, 1st Recon Marines. Rob Honzell's memoir is "First Person: Combat PTSD.)

Another Vietnam veteran questions why Americans reflexively call servicemembers who die in combat "heroes."  He writes,

"Heroes?!! I served two tours in Vietnam including the Tet Offensive of 1968. I killed someone -- a NVA solider -- I was elated -- but years later, I can still see my round hitting this guy. I never see any heroism in war -- just death, dirt, misery and guilt. I have never met a soldier or Marine who felt heroic. We do our jobs to protect our buddies and we want to get home and live our lives as ordinary men not as heroes. When you smell death you no longer have a glorified sense of war. There is honor and duty, but to kill or be killed does not make you a hero. I feel for these young people and their families -- but war and combat are not heroic actions -- they are doing a job and getting home."

(Or hoping to.)

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I've been reading voraciously the accounts of the Marines who survived the ferociously fought battle for Hill 881, part of the battle for Khe Sanh in 1967 -- a particularly vicious conflict.  (You'll find out why, in a few posts, but not right now.) 

One Marine captain writes about his guys, from there:

"As far as the individual Marine goes, I think I learned to respect the individual Marine -- the 18-,19-, 20-year-old, more in this one particular battle than any other time that I've been in the Marine Corps. He was given a job; he went up in the fact of danger, in the face of just being blown away, more or less, and he went up and did his job. To see the faces of the Marines dragging back their dead buddies, their wounded buddies, you could see how close the Marines really were with each other. It was true brotherhood, and I was really proud at the conduct of the Marines." (Capt. David G. Rogers, C Battery, 1/12 Marines.)

Says another Marine, reflecting on his part in the vicious battle for Hill 881 -- "I should have cried" (at the time), but I didn't.  I didn't have time.  I would cry later, and when I did - the tears would never completely stop..."

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It doesn't sound like war has changed all that much.  Remember Ambrose Bierce, Civil War era journalist and soldier, who we talked about a few weeks ago?  He wrote at the end of his highly-charged battle memory / short story, a line -- speaking about himself, after what he'd observed and taken part in -- "the life I should have thrown away, at Shiloh." (Bierce went on to stir things up for a few more years, though...)

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A current veteran and fellow fan of Zoriah, now studying social work in an attempt to ease the burden of his fellow PTSD sufferers, has this to say about combat trauma, on his blog, "PTSD - a Soldier's Perspective," linked here:

"We tell a soldier or veteran of war "welcome home" because the battle never leaves us, as we return from conflict everyday of our lives. This is my story and struggle with PTSD, it affects every aspect of my life. I want people to know what a combat veteran goes through after the media and people forget."

And later:

Taking another's life in the name of freedom, patriotism and because of your job description profoundly changes the person. How do we reconcile the killing of another human being and still maintain our principles and values? Someone who has not done so can say all they want about what they think or believe. When a soldier goes home to his or her family, friends and community, how do we relate to people who expect the person that is no longer us? How do we tell them that each time we took a life that, we too died in spirit a little more? They congratulate us on a job well done and we tell ourselves that we did our job, what we were trained to do. They tell us how proud they are, and we cannot make them understand how we feel guilty for that pride. How do we tell them that we cannot get those faces or images out of our mind?

Dirt, death, misery and guilt -- that's a heavy, heavy burden for any one person to share.  Let's hope we shoulder it with them, and NEVER forget.

We Made History Together: The Oral and Written Histories of Combat Veterans

Combat veterans - where did your memories go?  Not as in, "have you lost your memories?" but more to the effect of, "how are you saving them or transmitting them, for posterity?"

This marvelous photograph was taken by photographer Jeremy Hogan, and is used with permission. Hogan wrote the "Poem for My Father" which we blogged about earlier, and in his free time, he's helping to document the history of his father's squadron in Vietnam.  He says about this photo, taken over Memorial Day weekend, that the subject is, "Ron Klus, who served with my dad at Quan Loi, and received a Distinguished Flying Cross with an Oak Leaf Cluster. Unfortunately, Klus died due to issues related to his PTSD and now the VA is now denying his widow death benefits."

Recently, I've been privileged to receive several veteran's memoirs, bound up in book form -- one is a work in progress, the other already published.  I know that Jeremy is working with at least one of the guys from his dad's old squadron (13th Signal Battalion, part of the 1st Cavalry Division Airmobile), a combat photographer who did multiple tours of Vietnam, on cataloging his old photos, and creating some sort of archive for posterity.  That photographer says he's been interviewed as well, and is the subject of an upcoming article in a military magazine, but admits that dredging up the memories has been extraordinarily painful, because all those memories just come rushing back, from where they've been suppressed all these years.  That situation is challenging enough -- but what of others, who will die before they set anything down on paper, or on tape, about what they went through?  Those memories, painful and otherwise, which capture who the person was, will forever be lost to time. Unless...they're preserved some kind of way.

We've written on this blog before about the exceptional StoryCorps project -- click here for that link -- but what else is there out there, that archives veterans' recorded stories of their adventures and misadventures in combat?  (By recorded, we mean "set down" -- which could be on paper, digitally, or taped.)  One thing I've run across -- and please let us know if you know of other things like this, that are national in scope, not just regional or local -- is the "Veterans History Project," a project of the "American Folklife Center" at the Library of Congress, linked here. 

To participate in the project takes a few easy steps (their words, not mine), and seems pretty straightforward.  You register for the project, print the project field kit, prepare f the interview, conduct the interview, and send the resulting work product to the collection at the Library of Congress (of course keeping at least one copy for yourself).  Students and teachers can make this an educational project for school credit, -- that information is linked here -- but veterans themselves should think about getting involved. There's even a very cool place on the site where you can search for histories by other people who've participated -- for all you know, you might find a wartime buddy via that search engine, which is linked here.

I recently shared a quick conversation and a hug with longtime Friend of Veterans Maxine Hong Kingston, and asked her my one burning question, which was how long it took veterans before they were willing to talk about their experiences.  She said, "20 years."  I'm hopeful it doesn't always take that long -- or won't take that long, for the current crop of veterans -- but when you read some individual's war experiences you can see exactly why that would be. 

Current veterans like Tony Neff, author of the short autobiographical piece on his injury and convalescence, called "All I Want Is What I Deserve," which was published on this blog a few months ago, definitely took the plunge and jumped right in -- good for him. (His story is linked, here.)  I just have the feeling the current group of vets, thanks to the Internet and technology, etc., and their general comfort level with same, is going to break through all previous barriers more quickly with getting their stories told and out there, for the general public and to memorialize what they went through. In fact, it will seem unusual for them not to! 

But for everyone else, from previous wars, it's gonna take a little more coaxing and cajoling. So what of it -- is it time to start getting involved, and sharing with the world what only you know and experienced?  It might even help your loved ones understand you a little bit better -- and in the process, perhaps help you to understand and forgive yourself a little more, too.  Can you hear me cheering you on from the sidelines?  That's good -- because that would be the point :-)

"Stop, Don't Shoot" -- Gunlocks as a Practical Safety Tip for Veterans with PTSD?

Seriously, I have no desire to get in some big controversial "pro-gun/anti-gun" debate with this; I have a different favorite Amendment, the First.  But here's a possible practical safety tip for those with PTSD, or their families: the simple gunlock.  As mentioned in an article we blogged about earlier, last week, in a post linked here, there's this comment:

"Veterans with PTSD often turn to alcohol and drugs to escape their torment. They often consider suicide. Some carry it out.

The VA Medical Center’s suicide prevention coordinator Sonja Encke Wednesday night handed out gun locks. Just the amount of time it takes for a veteran with PTSD to find a lock for the gun lock can save a life, Encke said."

Where do you find a gunlock?  Ahhh, that's where my knowledge runs out.  If I find out, I'll be sure to update the post.  I'm sure a call to the local police station might help figure that out for your general location.  Or a search on the Web.  Maybe more VAs offer them than just the one in Grand Junction, Ohio.  Sounds like a pretty good idea, actually -- as a balance between personal freedom and personal (and family) safety. To quote an old proverb from You Know Where, "Better [to be] a live dog, than a dead lion..."

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Why this concern over practical safety approaches?  Check out this play-by-play from a Vietnam vet, and long-time law enforcement officer, about the battle with PTSD he almost lost this week.  He gets visitations from some of the many people he killed in Vietnam, and this week, one of his more familiar apparitions suggested he might really want to end it all.  His words, quoted with permission:

"I had someone close to me [an apparition from his Vietnam days, someone he killed in close combat, who we'll refer to as the spectre] tell me recently to "Stop talking about killing myself and just do it!"

The more I thought about it I said "You know, you are right, that is a good idea." I got up to go ... get … my Sig 45 that I keep on hand for family protection…I am very comfortable handling the gun.

As I reached for the gun on top of an elevated cabinet, I saw the … spectre … attempting to hand me the gun.

Anyway, I reached for the gun and suddenly my wife was in front of me stopping me from shooting myself. Was it a dream? The part about my wife definitely wasn't because we are still talking about it. [I'll bet :-).] Was …the spectre… telling me to go ahead and kill myself, that SHE was tired of me talking about it? I don't know…

I have weapons layered throughout the house for family protection. I guess I taught that stuff for too many years not to take advantage of it myself. Now my wife wants to get all the guns out of the house. That would only upset me thinking I could not protect my family in case of a home invasion, which are of course becoming only more prevalent - and those guys aren't playing around (I paraphrase).

Well, to make a long story short, obviously I am still here...No thanks to … the spectre. I can only hope that this incident may help others knowing that they are not alone in their fight against the terrible disorder that is Combat PTSD."

Would a gunlock have helped, if his wife hadn't luckily been around and intervened?  (And what a heavy experience that must have been.)  Would it still help? Let's hope so.  I prefer the old codger staying on this side of the grave, as I'm sure the people more directly in his life do, too.  Can gunlocks save lives, that PTSD would otherwise take?  Mebbe.  Worth looking into, in any case.

Murder, They Wrote: Statistics on Recent Combat Veterans and Homicides

The Spring/Summer 2008 issue of the American Psychological Associations' Section VII newsletter contains an interesting article on the "postdeployment homicide" statistics of combat veterans, that basically follows up on the study published in the New York Times in January of 2008, which we blogged about, here, while expanding on it and doing additional research.  The findings are quite worth reading.

(The study's authors are Kyle Burchett, David Ferreira and Glenn Sullivan, all from the Virginia Military Institute.)

They write:

A relationship between criminal behavior and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder in combat veterans has been hypothesized almost since the inclusion of PTSD in DSM-III (e.g. Wilson & Zigelbaum, 1983). Some researchers (e.g. Chemtob, Novaco, Hamada, Gross, & Smith, 1997) have posited that combat veterans may be more prone to entering a cognitive, behavioral, and physiological “survival mode” when confronted with threats in civilian environments, and may be more likely to respond to perceived threats with overwhelming aggression. Multiple studies, beginning with the National Vietnam Veterans Readjustment Study (NVVRS; Kulka et al., 1990), have shown dramatically higher rates of violence among combat veterans with PTSD compared to combat veterans without PTSD. Beckham and colleagues (Beckham, Feldman, Kirby, Hertzberg, & Moore, 1997), for example, found rates of 22 violent acts in the past year for help-seeking combat veterans with PTSD, versus 0.2 violent acts for combat veterans without PTSD. One implication of the extant research is that combat exposure per se does not appear to increase violence risk, although the severity and quality of an individual’s combat experiences (e.g. participation in atrocities) may effect postdeployment violent behavior insofar as these factors mediate he development of PTSD.

In January 2008 the New York Times published a list of 121 U.S. veterans who had been charged with homicide after returning from deployments in Iraq or Afghanistan (Sontag & Alvarez, 2008). This list, and the series of articles that followed it, provoked strong reactions from some veterans’ advocates. Many expressed concern that the nation’s most recent veterans were being portrayed as “ticking time bombs” who pose a risk to civilian society. The authors of the present article examined the 121 homicide cases presented in the Times’ study from a clinical perspective, with the intent of clarifying the association between combat exposure and postdeployment violence in the dataset.

In addition to the information on each case available on the Times’ website, we gathered corroborative data from independent media outlets -- most commonly online versions of newspapers serving the localities where the crimes had occurred. In more than 80% of the cases, we gathered significantly more information about the perpetrator than was available in the original Times article. In fewer than 10% of the cases, we were unable to find any additional information about the case and relied solely on the account provided by the Times.

All but one of the 121 offenders were male (99.2%). The majority of the offenders (53.7%) were between 18 and 24 years old, and 85% were under age 30. Of the cases in which race/ethnicity was known, Caucasians represented the majority (54.4%), followed by Hispanics (23.5%) and African-Americans (22.1%). The most represented service branches were Army (62.8%) and Marine Corps (30.6%). Over 90% of the charged offenders had served in Iraq, and 10.7% had served in Afghanistan; two of the 121 has served in both countries. Eleven offenders (9.1%) had deployed overseas twice during the current hostilities and five (4.1%) had deployed three times.

The homicide victims included strangers (35.2%), friends/acquaintances (23.0%), spouses/girlfriends (18.8%), children (8.3%), and Other/Unknown (14.7%). As in the general population, handguns were the most frequently employed murder weapon. The most common criminal charge was first-degree (i.e. willful and premeditated) murder (55.7%). At the time of this study (April 2008), nearly 30% of the cases were still pending (i.e. th veterans had been charged but not convicted). Seven of the veterans on the Times’ list (5.8%) had been acquitted of the homicide charges against them. None of the veterans received a Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity acquittal, although considerations related to combat-exposure and self-defense appear to have influenced prosecutors in at least one case (e.g. Matthew Sepi). More than one-fifth of the cases (20.5%) involved vehicular manslaughter or homicide. All but one of these vehicular cases were primarily substance-related – the prototypical homicide victim in these cases was the passenger in a vehicle driven by an intoxicated veteran.

We reviewed the compiled case material for evidence of combat exposure. In the vast majority of cases (92%), some evidence of combat exposure was provided in media accounts of the criminal proceedings. In 40% of the cases, combat exposure appeared certain: news reports included details regarding combat decorations, injuries sustained by the accused in battle, or testimony by commanding officers or multiple fellow unit members regarding IEDs, mortar attacks, clearing buildings, etc. In an additional 52% of the cases, combat exposure appeared probable: friends or family members of the accused veteran referred to combat exposure, the veteran’s unit was known to have engaged in combat during the veteran’s deployment, the area in which the veteran operated (e.g. Fallujah) was known for intense combat, etc.

We also evaluated the case files for evidence of psychiatric symptoms. Due to the nature of our data, we could not achieve anything resembling a formal diagnosis, but we reliably detected significant psychiatric symptoms related to PTSD, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Substance Abuse, or psychosis in 114 of the 121 cases (94.2%). Only four (3.5%) of the veterans demonstrated psychotic symptoms.

Significant symptoms related to PTSD were reported in 85 of the 121 cases we examined (70.2%). Family members, friends, judges, defense attorneys (and even prosecutors) referred to veterans’ nightmares, insomnia, intrusive thoughts, survivor guilt, hyperarousal, hypervigiliance, intense anger, depressed mood, and suicidal ideation. In general, we searched for evidence that the veteran had returned from combat somehow “changed” or disturbed. Approximately 34% of the veterans in this sample demonstrated PTSD symptoms only, an additional 19% exhibited PTSD and comorbid Substance Abuse, and almost 17% appeared to display symptoms of both PTSD and Antisocial Personality Disorder.

We identified 39 cases that appeared to involve significant symptoms associated with Antisocial Perrsonality Disorder (ASPD; 32.2%). Evidence for ASPD included committing violence for material gain (e.g. killing a spouse for the insurance money), killing during the commission of a felony (e.g. shooting a gas station attendant during the course of a robbery), evidence of substantial criminal activity prior to the instant offense, callous disregard for others, lack of remorse, etc. In general, we searched for evidence of pre-deployment antisocial behavior or instrumental (versus expressive) aggression. Almost 17% of the veterans in this sample (n=19) demonstrated ASPD symptoms only, an equal number exhibited comorbid ASPD and PTSD, and one displayed comorbid ASPD and Substance Abuse.

Finally, each judge rated the strength of the association between the violent act reported in each case and the combat experiences of the accused veteran. We used a seven-point scale in which “1” indicated no relationship and “7” indicated the strongest possible linkage (i.e. the crime would not have been committed “but for” the combat exposure). The mean rating for the entire sample was 5.2 (standard deviation = 1.9). Over 50% of the sample was rated “6” or higher and less than 5% received ratings of “0.” This approach requires further validation but a similar procedure may prove useful in assessing public attitudes toward hypothetical criminal cases in which combat-related PTSD is presented as a mitigating factor.

The prevalence of PTSD symptoms in this sample of combat veterans charged with homicide (70.2%) is much greater than has been found in other samples of returning veterans. This finding appears to be consistent with prior research that suggests that PTSD mediates the frequency and severity of violent behavior among combat veterans. However, it is also extremely important to note that a substantial minority of veterans in this sample (n=20; 16.5%) exhibited no symptoms of PTSD and appeared rather to demonstrate behaviors associated with habitual criminality. Criminal cases involving recent veterans, like those of Vietnam veterans before them, are likely to be marked by either legitimate claims of diminished culpability or cynical attempts to malinger the effects of trauma.

Social support is a strong protective factor against PTSD. To date, the over 1.4 million American soldiers that have been deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan have received generally positive reactions to their homecoming.

Unfortunately, this public support is not guaranteed and might be negatively affected by misinterpretation of news reports regarding violent combat veterans. Should public support for veterans deteriorate for any reason, an already immense public health problem could become even less manageable. It would be terrible for the public to conclude erroneously that returning veterans are inherently dangerous. This is why the Veterans of Foreign Wars and other veterans’ advocacy groups have taken pains to point out that the murders in the Times’ dataset yield an estimated 8.6/100,000 homicide rate in the veteran population, which they contrast to the 29.3/100,000 rate among American men aged 18 to 24.

References

Beckham, J.C., Feldman, M.E., Kirby, A.C., Hertzberg, M.A., & Moore, S.D. (1997). Interpersonal violence and its correlates in Vietnam veterans with chronic Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. Journal of Clinical Psychology , 53(8), 859-869.

Chemtob, C.M., Novaco, R.W., Hamada, R.S., Gross, D.M., & Smith, G. (1997). Cognitive-behavioral treatment for severe anger in post-traumatic stress disorder. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 62, 827-832.

Kulka, R. A., Schlenger, W. E., Fairbank, J. A., Hough, R. L., Jordan, B. K., Marmar, C. R., et al. (1990). Trauma and the Vietnam War generation: Report of findings from the National Vietnam Veterans Readjustment Study. New York: Brunner/Mazel.

Sontag, D., & Alvarez, L. (2008). Across America, deadly echoes of foreign battles. Retrieved January 15, 2008, from http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/13/us/13vets.html

Wilson, J.P., & Zigelbaum, S.D. (1983). The Vietnam veteran on trial: The relation of Post-Traumatic Stresss Disorder to criminal behavior. Behavioral Sciences and the Law, 1(3), 69-83.

Editor's note: Thanks to psychology graduate student, Melanie Goodman, for pointing out this article!

Peter A. Levine, Ph.D.

BORN
February 19,1942

DEGREES
B.S. University of Michigan, 1964: Physics Engineering; and Minors in Mathematics and Psychology.

Ph.D. University of California, Berkeley, 1976: Department of Medical and Biological Physics: Group in Biophysics (interdisciplinary Program in Physical Biology; Life Science, Neurophysiology and Psychology.)

Ph.D. International College, Los Angeles, 1977; Independent Directed Tutorial, Psychology.

POSITIONS
1999-Member of Task Force, Institute of World Affairs, Psychologists for Social Responsibility and Presidential Initiative on Ethnopolitical Warfare, Twin Lakes, Connecticut. Setting curriculum and training for large scale disaster and Ethnopolitical Conflict development at post graduate level.

1998-Present - Founder and Training Director, Foundation for Human Enrichment, Lyons, Colorado.

1998-1999 - Lecture and training, C. J. Jung Society, Denver, Colorado.

1995- Consultant: Colorado Center for Bio-behavioral Health.

1994-Present - Consultant, Pain and Rehabilitation Clinic, Mapleton Center, Boulder Community Hospital, Boulder, Colorado.

1990-1995 - Director and Training Director, Ergos Institute for Somatic Education.

1988-1990 - President, Foundation for Human Enrichment-A non-profit resource in the health sciences.

1988-1989 - Guest Teacher OASIS: International treatment program for refugees and torture victims. Copenhagen, Denmark.

1987-1990 - Guest teacher for the Danish Psychiatric hospitals at Nykooping and Viborg, Denmark.

1987-1989 - Guest Teacher, Bodynamic Institute. Copenhagen, Denmark.

1986-1990 - Consultant, Hopi Guidance Center; clinical training for native therapists.

1985-1989 - Co-teacher with Richard Oiney M.A., Hypnosis and Body Experience, a series of professional residential training programs held in Arizona.

1980-1990 - Program director and primary teacher in the Somatic Experiencing training program for Body Oriented Therapy, Berkeley, California.

1985-1987 - Community Affairs co-director for Ergos Institute, Flagstaff,-Arizona.

1985-1986 - Stress Consultant for Sheriffs Department of Coconino County, Arizona.

1984- Antioch College, San Francisco, California, Faculty in Somatic Psychology.

1983- Teacher in Residence and Director of the Extended Study Program, Esalen Institute. Big Sur, California.

1981-1982 - Visiting Faculty, University of New England, College of Osteopathic Medicine - Department of Clinical Principles and Practice. And Continuing Medical Education.

1981-1982 - Consultant, Blueberry Treatment Centers for Autistic Children, Brooklyn, New York, with Dr. Mira Rothenberg.

1980-1981 - Consultant, Stress and Pain Center, Victoria, British Columbia, Canada.

1978-1979 - Consultant to NASA Ames: Stress Factors in Space Shuttle Flight (Project Director; U.C. Consortium with NASA.)

1978-1979 - Instructor, Antioch College, San Francisco.

1977-1979 - Lecturer, Department of Health and Medical Sciences, University of California, Berkeley.

1976-1977 - Field Facility Advisor for Humanistic Psychology Institute Saybrook University, San Francisco, California.

1970-1971 - Lecturer in Contemporary Natural Sciences Program, Department of Physics and Zoology, University of California, Berkeley.

1969-1970 - Instructor (acting): Zoology, University of California, Berkeley.

1969-1970-Instructor: Life Sciences, Mills College, Oakland, California.

1962-1964 - Research Assistant, Electronic Defense Group and Department of Psychology, University of Michigan with Professor Wilson P. Tanner on electronic prosthetic devices for the blind.

1961- Technical Assistant, Bell Telephone Laboratories, Murryhill, New Jersey with Leon D. Harmon in Neurocybernetics, ''Artificial Neuron'' Project.

1961- Research Assistant Department of Psychology with Professor P.M. Fiffs, Stimulus Response compatibility studies in Human Engineering.

PUBLISHED WORKS
1999- Healing Trauma-Restoring the Wisdom of the Body, Peter Levine; Sounds True

1998- Trauma Therapy for Survivors of Torture, Jorgensen and Mathiasen eds.

1997-Waking the Tiger-Healing Trauma, Peter Levine with Ann Frederick; North Atlantic Books

1997- Memory, Trauma, and Healing- article appeared in Spring, 1997 of AHP Journal Perspective. Also in the Journal of Bio-Synthesis.

1996- ''Understanding Childhood Trauma''

1991- ''The Body As Healer, Transforming Trauma''

1990- Revisioning Anxiety and Trauma, in Giving the Body Its Due (ed. Maxine Sheets Johnstone) S.U.N.Y. Press, 1991.

1989- The Substitute Tiger, An Integrative Bio-developmental Approach to Anxiety and Post Traumatic Stress.

1986- Chapter on Stress for Psychophysiology. Systems, Processes, and Application, A Handbook, eds. Coles, M., Donchin, E., and Porges, S., Guilford Press, 1986.

1983- Chronic Perinatal Stress as a Predisposing Factor in Autism and Childhood Psychosis, a Neurodevelopmental model suggesting strategies in treatment and prophylaxis. In: Symposium on Autism co-sponsored by University du Quebec a Montreal and San Francisco State University.

1982- Circle of Damage, Circle of Grace-Stress and Your Children. (Unpublished Manuscript).

1982- Stress, Neurobiology and Behavior Benchmark series on Human Physiology and

Behavior, Dowden, Hutchinson and Ross, Inc. (Submitted for Publication).

1978- Stress and Vegetatherapy, Journal of Energy and Character-England (Fall and Winter)

1978- Infra-Uterinee Environment, Stress and Neurological Development, Journal of Behavioral Neuropsychiatry.

1977- Accumulate Stress Reserve Capacity and Disease, University Microfilm 77-15760, Ann Arbor, Michigan.

1977- A Rhythm to Growing. - A Comment on the Body Approaches of Reich and Rolf and the Process of Adaptive Growth, Life and Works of Wilhelm Reich, Viking Penguin.

1964- A Model for Flicker Fusion. Bell Telephone Company, Technical Memoranda.

CONFERENCE PRESENTATIONS
1999- Keynote Speaker, National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine, Palm Springs, California.

1996-1999 - Keynote Speaker, American Polarity Therapy Association

1999- The Biology of Emotion- With Candice Perts.

1997- Keynote Speaker, Trauma Conference, Naropa Institute

1997- Keynote Speaker, Oasis Tenth Anniversary, International Conference, Copenhagen, Denmark.

1997- Keynote Speaker, International Polarity Conference

1996- Keynote Speaker AHP (Assoc. of Humanistic Psychology) International Conference

1995-1998 - Keynote Speaker The International Somatics Congress-Congress International de Somatotherapy

1995- ''Unifying the Elusive Symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress and Closed Head Injury; New Models for Treatment''-Rehabilitation in-service, Mapleton Center/Boulder Community Hospital

1991- ''Somatic Contributions to the Healing of Sexual Abuse.'' University of California Extension School of Public Health.

1991- ''What Is The Child's Reality?, The Child In the Hospital,'' Washoe Medical Center, Reno, Nevada.

1990- Keynote National Hakomi Institute of Body Oriented Psychotherapy.

1989-1990 - Keynote National Guild for Structural Integration.

1989- ''The Ordinary Miracle of Healing'' at Washoe Medical Center, Reno, Nevada.

1989- ''An Integrative Approach to Anxiety and Post-Traumatic Stress.'' The Second Nordic Psychophysiology Conference, Lynkooping, Sweden.

1988- Keynote National AMTA - ''Body Feeling and Self''

1987-1988 - Grand Rounds, Nevada-Mental Health Institute and the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, School of Medicine, University of Nevada, Reno.

1. ''What Constitutes Therapeutic Milieu in a Hospitalized Setting?'' (A panel discussion).
2. ''Body/Mind Relationships; A Synthesis of Developmental and Psychophysiological Approaches in the Non-drug, Somatic (body-oriented) Treatment of Psychopathologies''
3. ''The Substitute Tiger; Shock as a Critical and Neglected Factor in Treating Phobic States and Other Psychopathologies.'' Reno, Nevada.

1987- ''The Body in Health Care.'' YWCA, Reno, Nevada.

1984- ''Beyond the Relaxation Response: Self-regulation and Healing for Clinicians.'' U.C.L.A. School of Medicine.

1983- ''Towards a Biology of Body Work.'' Keynote Speaker. New Visions in Bodywork Invision Associates and JFK University.

1982- Grand Rounds, Pacific Medical Center (Department of Psychiatry): ''Another Look at Carbon Dioxide Inhalation in the Treatment of Stress Underlying Various Pathologies.''

1982- ''The Body and the Person: Towards a Somatic Model of Health'' (U.C. Extension School of Public Health), Consultant, Coordinator, and Participant.

1981- ''The Perinatal Period: Interface of Biology and Behavior'' (with S. Porges). Esalen Institute, Coordinator and Participant.

1980- ''Conceptualizing Energy Medicine.'' (U.C. Extension School of Public Health).

1979- ''Biology of the Affectional Bond.'' University of California, Berkeley, Health and Medical Sciences; Stanford Research Institute International: Ergos, Foundation, and Esalen Institute; Coordinator and Participant.

PROFESSIONAL SOCIETIES
American Psychological Association
A.M.T.A.-American Massage Therapy Association
Guild for Structural Integration-inactive
Society For Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis

CERTIFICATIONS
American Board of Medical Psychotherapists, Fellow and Diplomat
American Board of Stress Practitioners
American Council of Hypnosis Examiners
The American Institute of Stress, Fellow and Diplomat
ISSSEEM-International Society for the Study of Subtle Energies & Energy Medicine

Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.

Bessel A. van der Kolk M.D. is Professor of Psychiatry, Boston University School of Medicine, Medical Director, the Trauma Center, Boston, MA, Past President, the International Society of Traumatic Stress Studies. He is the author of Psychological Trauma and an editor of Traumatic Stress: The Effects of Overwhelming Experience on Mind, Body and Society. Dr. van der Kolk is one of the pioneers in traumatic stress studies. He was co-principal investigator of the DSM IV Field Trial for Traumatic Stress. He has written over a hundred scientific research articles on the topic and two leading textbooks. He has taught across the US, in Europe, China, Japan, Israel, South America and South Africa. His current research focuses on 1) Memory functions in a range of traumatized populations, including children exposed to violence, post-surgery patients, and torture victims; 2) The effects of theater groups and other action- oriented interventions on resolving traumatic stress in children and adolescents 3) Functional changes in brain activity, utilizing various neuroimaging techniques. 4) Treatment efficacy of EMDR vs. pharmacological agents, funded by the National Institutes of Mental Health.

Just Remember Our Sacrifices, Veterans Plead

 

A quote about sacrifice:

"When we come home, either standing or dead, to know you remember we fought and we bled is payment enough, and with that we will trust. That we mattered to you as you mattered to us." --  quote from USMC OIF/OEF combat veteran, perhaps quoting someone else (and perhaps not!).

Artwork done by proud Marine wife Christie, whose husband just got back from yet another deployment, days ago.  This is her artistic vision, created with photo imaging software, of an imaginary building facade she'd like to see, somewhere in America.

Creating Sacred Space with Space Clearing

Editor's note: This is one of those posts where I am going wayyyyy out on a limb (sound of cartoon branch being sawn off); and if it's not to your liking, just pass on it and keep on going – it’s not for everyone, that’s for sure. And on some levels, I don't even know what I'm talking about here…

But that’s the great thing about wacky spiritual stuff: neither does anyone else, really.  (A childhood friend -- now a world-renowned religion expert and college professor, but who I know from elementary, jr. high and high school, plus Sunday school for all those years -- sets the “religion status” on his Facebook profile to “confused” – because, frankly, who isn’t. Even the experts, really.)

---

The collisions between the sacred, or spiritual world -- and the material world in which we typically feel more at home -- can be surprising and even sometimes humorous when they arise.

A previous "party hearty" roommate -- whose sophisticated, wealthy, and even extremely well-educated family on one side came from Latin America, on the other side, from the Indian subcontinent -- kept both traditions alive when she'd take off her religious medals, that she usually wore around her neck, and lay them face down on the dresser, apparently so they couldn't "see" what she was up to, when she engaged in any non-G-related activities with her, erm, gentlemen callers.  I used to think this was pretty hilarious stuff -- who, after all, were they going to tell? -- but she was way superstitious about it, and not to be trifled with, on the matter (just in case). 

Another friend, an African educated at fine schools in England and the U.S., who is now a college professor in the Boston area -- though not the religion professor mentioned elsewhere -- has a mother who is both a tribal elder who practices magic, and a more traditionally-trained M.D.  Somehow, she has found a way to reconcile the two sides of her nature, or at least reach a meaningful truce between them.  Andrew Weil, M.D., famous worldwide as a classically-trained M.D., (Harvard Medical School), studied ethnobotany and shamanistic cultures prior to dispensing advice on what's good for what ails ya -- because he understood that the modernized Western world is not really where you go first if you're interested in learning traditional spiritual wisdom, as indigenous cultures still practice it.

Ready to step off the spiritual cliff, or slide on the spiritual banana peel (though ideally with better consequences)?  This is highly subjective stuff here -- not the white-washed church and steeple of your youth -- but that alone doesn't make it particularly wrong, or right, either. Try the garment on for size, so to speak, reject it if it doesn't fit you personally; and, as with most things in life -- to mix a metaphor -- be aware that "your mileage may vary."

---

I was having a conversation the other day with a friend, telling her about a Vietnam veteran I know who has regular visitations from two of the many people he killed in combat.

(And by many, I mean more than 50, mostly at point-blank range.  If that wouldn't mess with your head, I'm not sure what would.) Of course, the apparitions he experiences as nightmares and hallucinations are "visions" that drive him to distraction -- but he also experiences them as real people, who on some level he "knows," if only because of their regular appearance in his life over all these years.  They seem to have attached themselves to him, personally, not where he lives, and have in fact "moved houses" with him several times over the years.  He rarely gets any peace from them at all; except sometimes in church.  These people who he killed in combat, now seem to appear to him in spirit form, where they menace and trouble him seemingly from beyond the grave.  Their constant visits are a continual and draining reminder of dark days from his past long ago, and of course also a direct reminder that years ago, he took their lives, very personally for them (and for him.) Over the past four decades since Vietnam, he's spent so much time in their company, in fact, that he's given them names: we'll call them "the Dark Lady" and "Nguyen" here for our purposes.

---

The Dark Lady was a cigarette smoker, in her time; not so sure I know much in the identifying characterist department about Nguyen, except that he was a good fighter, and dangerous.  Both were highly treacherous individuals in life, and seem – at least in this veteran’s experience – to have carried those traits over into the afterlife (or into his hallucinations of same, since intrinsically it’s hard to clarify the difference between the two.  The two states may be one and the same, after all  Again, who will ever know.)

The friend I asked about his situation is from a different cultural background, a Caribbean nation in which the spirit world is considered to exist on a fairly parallel level to our own at all times, with frequent intersections of the two.  I’ve seen her go through some experiences, which I won’t go into here, where strange and magical things were accomplished by specific spiritual interventions, that cleared up some amorphous but troubling situations in her and her family's lives, as well as that of close friends of hers, who I've also known or known about.  She seemed like just the girl to ask.

---

I laid out the situation as best I understood it, then asked her what people in her culture would do if they were faced with a situation like this. The approach she described was what we might call, in the Christian tradition, "setting a table for one's enemies" -- and as she talked, the wisdom of the approach became more clear. 

Her culture's take on this would be, that evil spirits like the Dark Lady and Nguyen were still "hanging around," because there was something they wanted from the person, some business they still had to transact (I'm paraphrasing) with those they haunted. She said her culture would make an effort to "honor" these "evil" spirits, by essentially, trying to figure out what they wanted from you, and then taking pains to honor them, in as sincere a way as would be appropriate, under the circumstances -- choosing rituals, ceremonies or objects that would convey acknowledgement, honor or respect.  (The goal, after all, is trying to get them to leave.  You're simply (and sincerely) making as nice as you can, until they do.)

She said in her culture’s magical/spiritual tradition, called Santeria, that might mean laying out an offering to them, in a special location in the house, perhaps on a table.  Lighting a candle for them (individually, I’m assuming); setting out a glass of water; doing something personal to dedicate the space to them; to acknowledge them in a way that might be meaningful.  In the case of the Dark Lady, we’re assuming laying out a pack of cigarettes (no, we’re not joking.  This is wild stuff – just roll with it.) If memory serves, just creating this “sacred space” to honor the spirits in transition, or whatever euphemism we choose to use here, apparently helps.  It may need to be done a few times, over the course of some time, but apparently it makes a difference – if only, and we insert this phrase to satisfy the skeptics (except that they can never be satisfied, by definition, so what’s the point?!) – to calm and appease (and set at peace) the one creating the ceremony.

A lawyer friend, we won’t name names, has made a career out of bringing “ritual and ceremony” into the practice of law, which has frankly been bereft of those.  It’s very right-brain thinking in a very left-brain profession, but think of the number of important areas of life where “ritual and ceremony” are completely devoid.  Marriages, funerals, first communions, and school graduations are about it.  Other profoundly meaning transitions -- divorce, the signing of a will -- have no ceremonies at all to mark their passage.  The participants are left completely on their own to wing it -- and hope that the passage from one state to another, or the gift -- makes sense.  That's how it is in America, but in much of the rest of the world, ritual and ceremony are cornerstones – and touchstones - for the community and its integrated life. 

Ever eaten out at an Asian restaurant, and notice off in the background or a corner, a little shrine set up for the protective saints and spirits?  (Okay, that's a nail salon in Florida pictured at right, but it's the same difference.)

Integrating the spiritual world with the tactile, experiential world is not a foreign concept to most of the world’s people, although it is to us.  When all else fails, it might make sense to explore some seemingly wacky stuff that nevertheless brings comfort and even sometimes spiritual breakthroughs to people so much less sophisticated than we allegedly are.

Of course, said my friend, if this quasi-reverential approach doesn’t work, over time, to get the spirits to leave the premises -- which might happen if they are particularly strong, or particularly evil (though she suggests trying, first) -- it might be time to take it up a notch, and consult what amounts to a shaman, from her culture, who can do his “magic” at a little heavier level.  Understood :-)

Time to call in the spiritual Mafia…who don’t take no for an answer.  (They'll make the "evil spirits" an offer they can't refuse? Actually, it sounds more pedestrian than that -- sounding like wise negotiators and mediators, they interview the disturbing spirits about what it would take to satisfy them and get them to leave, and then clear the premises of any vestiges of them. Sign me up :-)

---

For the rest of us, who aren’t familiar at all with the concept of “space clearing,” it was popularized in the West in the 1990s by authors like Denise Linn and Karen Kingston, who wrote the seminal (for this field) Creating Sacred Space With Feng Shui.  Kingston learned her trade on the island nation of Bali, where spirituality is fully (and some say, beautifully) integrated with everyday life.  (Read the New York Times bestseller, Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert, for further confirmation of this.  The author spends a third of her book in Bali, and can hardly pry herself away it’s such a marvelous experience. Neither could the famous religion professor, mentioned above, who recently traveled there as well.)

Energetic space clearing is based on the principles of Feng Shui – another litmus test for people’s beliefs, either pro or con.  Feng Shui is well-known in Asia, particularly China and Hong Kong, where it has been practiced for centuries.  (Think of it as a form of environmental acupuncture, moving energy and getting rid of blockages.)  There's ritual and ceremony involved: hands claps, bells ring, sage bundles smudge, and what's happening, in theory, bad energy is cleared out, and a protective "shield" of good energy is created around the subject and/or his or her family's living environment or work space.  Like the taste of cilantro or the scent of Patchouli, of course, this concept isn't for everyone -- but it has its adherents, as casual or as dedicated as they may be.

The idea seems to be, in short and very abbreviated/non-expert fashion here (read the Kingston book for more details on how it's actually done) -- do a spiritual perimeter walk, cleanse the living environment of energetic blocks (though specific means detailed in the book, etc.), and "clean" or "clear" the energy in the environment to create a more peaceful, harmonious atmosphere within the space.

In mild situations, and maybe just as a precursor thing to do even in more severe situations, it could be interesting to try on an experimental basis, being careful to follow the suggested instructions.  For all we know, it might produce a positive change.  Certainly its adherents believe that it does:

Denise Linn says she “cried out” excitedly upon entering a room at a conference where both she and Karen Kingston were to speak, adding, “I was startled by the profound change in the energy” that had taken place in the room, since she had last set foot into it, a short time before.  She explained,

"The room no longer felt heavy and depressing.  Even though none of the physical objects had been moved, the entire room [now] sparkled with light and energy.  It was quite remarkable.  Karen very quietly stepped forward and explained that she had been Space Clearing the room.  ‘The energy shift is incredible,’ I told her.  [To which Kingston responded, essentially, “but I’m only halfway through it!”]

A few years ago, I had the chance to stay for an extended period of time in a house which had a marvelously calm and peaceful “energy” about it, and which provided many soothing nights' sleep.  Unbeknownst to me initially, after talking with the owner I learned that Karen Kingston herself had “space cleared” that particular house, soon after the current owner had just purchased it -- both to "clear" the negative energy associated with the previous owners, as well as to establish a calming, positive, enhancing energy for the house's new inhabitants.  Real or imaginary, the “results” were incredibly pleasing, soothing and restful -- and noticeable.

The principles of space clearing, which can be learned from Kingston’s book, are perhaps too New Agey for some – but here’s the interesting thing – they’re also considered quite ancient to others, in other cultures.  Who knows who’s right in this equation – the important thing is finding out whether these concepts have any validity in your own life.  Proceed with all necessary caution and wisdom, but don’t fail to look into them, either, just because they’re unfamiliar or not what you grew up with. You might just be missing out on a better night's sleep, or more peaceful surroundings for you and your personal life, or your family life.  And to that we say, "good night!"

Lost in a Dark Wood - Did Dante Understand Veterans' Suffering?

Maybe it's just an excuse to show this amazing Gustav Dore illustration of Dante in the "dark wood" mentioned below, but I think not.

Listening to veteran's stories lately about their lives, I can't help but think of the opening lines of the Inferno, the first book in Dante's Divine Comedy (hey, what's an ex-literature major to do?  That degree has to count for something :-):

Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita
mi ritrovai per una selva oscura,

Midway in the journey of our life
I found myself in a dark wood...

Can he relate?  Let's take a look at some of the rest of the story, using none other than the reliably haphazard Wikipedia -- sometimes sketchy, sometimes very good -- as our source:

"...the mention of suicide is made in Canto I of Purgatorio with "This man has not yet seen his last evening; But, through his madness, was so close to it, That there was hardly time to turn about" implying that when Virgil came to him he was on the verge of suicide or morally passing the point of no return), assailed by beasts (a lion, a leopard and a she-wolf) allegorical depictions of temptations towards sin) he cannot evade, and unable to find the "straight way" (diritta via) to salvation (symbolized by the sun behind the mountain). Conscious that he is ruining himself, that he is falling into a "deep place" (basso loco) where the sun is silent ('l sol tace), Dante is at last rescued by Virgil, and the two of them begin their journey to the underworld. ... Dante passes through the gate of hell, on which is inscribed the famous phrase "Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate", or "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here."

---

Ehhh.  Well, we'll skip further analyzing the book, because for one thing it's large -- one of the original "three part series": hell, purgatory and heaven each get their own book -- and for another thing, we last read it quite a few years ago, and then probably only under duress (had to satisfy those honors requirements).

But even a brief look at just that passage above introduces quite a lot of themes -- and feelings -- common to veterans who are still struggling with what they experienced and took part in, even decades ago.  If nothing else -- and you don't have to skip ahead to see how the book turns out -- I think it's a nice reminder that across the centuries, across various languages, across literature -- other people can and have related to the pain that veterans feel in their isolation, alienation, need for solitude, feelings of being assailed by visions real and imaginary, and struggling to even hold on, against the madness, and against losing their way. 

The Gustav Dore illustration, from the mid-1800s, is a "wonderful" depiction of Dante lost and alone in the dark wood, on the run from the horrible nightmares or the demons that pursued him, whether from without or within.  For some reason, I think that's something veterans can relate to -- particularly the ones who are struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It may not be as satisfying as a cure, but sometimes it's nice just to be acknowledged, have your reality externally validated, or realize that others can relate.  Strangely, across the centuries, it seems like Dante actually can, to a degree.  We hope that's on some level comforting.

---

And just because I can't resist throwing in an encouraging quote in at the end of all the bleakness, how about this one, allegedly from Admiral Chester W. Nimitz, for anyone who's ever felt himself chased through the dark wood: "Grant me the courage not to give up, even when I think it is hopeless."

How Army Medic Pfc. Joseph Dwyer Apparently Never Made It Home from War

The New York Times has a nice opinion piece by Lawrence Downes in today's paper, called "Losing Private Dwyer," linked here. 

Another heroic warrior dying another tragic, PTSD-related death. Ironically, too -- another subject of an iconic war photograph, like the Marlboro Marine -- whose true-life struggles, after the fact, were so much larger than we really understood, who only saw the narrow "slice" of his less than 15 minutes of fame. Said the reporter about Dwyer's photo, "If there are better images of the strength and selflessness of the American soldier, I can’t think of any."

Downe's story of Dwyer's heartbreaking troubles is well worth reading. As Pfc. Joseph Dwyer's mom, Maureen, said, about his mounting personal troubles,"he just couldn’t get over the war,” The son she knew, she says, may have been here in person, but in spirit, "never came home."

Editor's note: See also The Troubled Homecoming of the Marlboro Marine, by Jenny Eliscu, in Rolling Stone, April 3, 2008, linked here. The subtitle, addressing the iconic war portrait of the troubed Marine says it all: "This is the face of the war in Iraq. The mind behind it will never be the same."

Postscript: The National Veterans Foundation put the item about Army medic Pfc. Joseph Dwyer's death on their website, as covered by the New York Times, but then added this relevant piece of info.  I'll add it here too because it's important to note, and use:

"One thing that did seem to help, Ms. Knapp and Ms. Minor said, was peer counseling from a fellow veteran, a man who had been ambushed in Iraq and knew about fear and death. But that was too little, too late, and both women say they are frustrated with the military for letting Mr. Dwyer slip away."

Here at the NVF, we have trained veterans from Vietnam to Iraq ready to answer calls from people like Pfc. Dwyer. Currently, we are only open from 9AM to 9PM 7 days a week. With the help of people like you, we hope to expand our Lifeline call center to 24/7 - which could make the difference of a life.

The toll-free number of the National Veterans Foundation hotline, currently staffed at the hours mentioned above, is (888) 777-4443.  As they say, "You've been there -- we've been there.  Don't wait -- call our team now."

Sacramento Bee's Article Series on "Suspect Soldiers" - How and Whether Servicemembers' Criminal Backgrounds Affect Their Military Service

In these days of newspapers downsizing and widespread layoffs, investigative series -- because they chew up so much time and effort -- are getting significantly rarer and less likely to happen.  That's a real shame, because we've learned some great things from deep and wide-ranging investigative pieces over the years -- the work of the Boston Globe's "Spotlight" team comes to mind, as well as that of the Washington Post. On that level, it's great to see that the Sacramento Bee invested major resources in their series being published this week, starting last Sunday with the initial installment, "Suspect Soldiers: Troubled Histories Follow Some Troops to Iraq War," linked here.  (There are multiple other installments -- follow that first link to find the others.)   Here's what the SacBee says it took to pull off their series:

In reporting "Suspect Soldiers," Bee reporter Russell Carollo focused primarily on people entering the military since the Iraq war began in 2003 and on those linked to incidents in Iraq.

He also examined cases of returning veterans whose crimes were believed linked to post-traumatic stress disorder, and found that several had pre-Iraq criminal records that offered another explanation for their subsequent criminal behavior.

His interviews spanned 30 states, including 200 people ranging from police officers and court officials to soldiers and Marines – and their families. He filed more than 100 public records requests, yielding millions of computer records and thousands of pages of courts-martial files, military investigative reports and civilian court and police records.

A prodigious, considerable, commendable effort on the part of the SacBee.  Now here's the part I don't like.  I read the first installment, and as hungry as I am for news on this topic, I don't think I'll go back and read the rest.  Why?  Several reasons:

1.  Not really their fault (the reporters), but what was found, didn't really seem that significant after all, proportionally speaking. A few arrests here and there beforehand, some incomplete disclosures of recruits' backgrounds before enlisting or re-enlisting, a percentage of troubled histories after the fact.  But none of this was super compelling.  Had the offenses been larger, and with a greater link established to the same types of offenses being committed after enlistment -- or a greater percentage of prior offenders re-offending, I would have been more impressed.  Again, not the reporters' fault -- they asked the questions, they mined the data, they're purely dealing with what they found.  No one wants them making things up just to get a better outcome.  However, it does make me wonder -- why exactly weren't those links stronger?  Could be for any number of reasons, but here are two:

     a.  They're actually ahead of the trend they're trying to analyze; and if they're on the right path, it may just be the timing that's off -- and if they check back in a few years or even a year, using later data, they may find stronger linkages or stronger patterns to report.

     b.  The military may not be doing a good enough job of investigating crimes on its watch, so the back end and the front end aren't effectively tied together enough.  There may be -- let's face it, there are -- servicemembers dying and being injured by one another where the crime isn't being investigated for what it is.  If this side of the data is weak, no matter how great and/or thorough a job the SacBee reporting team did, there's a limit to what they're going to find.

2.  There's a different project I wish they'd done instead, now that I've seen the results of the first. One particular issue of concern to me, after reading about the "double whammy" of Military Sexual Trauma (MST) that we've talked about before on this blog -- is whether a different/better study could have been done, restricting the scope to crimes against women servicemembers.  This seems to be a whole subset of crimes committed while in the service that could seriously use deeper, further study.  Just the way that historically medical research dollars were spent almost exclusively on studies on male patients (look it up, it's true) and women were considered, when it came to medical studies, for years to be nothing more than "junior men;" perhaps the same institutional prejudice is happening here.  

There are some very troubling stories in the news -- if you look around, you will find them -- and there certainly are concerned parents, friends and spouses who know the stories as well -- about women servicemembers and contractors who have been greatly harmed or even murdered, and whose deaths or sexual assaults have not been investigated fully, comprehensively or well.  Not "all," but a significant "some" -- where even one is too many.  See cases of Army Private LaVena Johnson, profiled in Salon and elsewhere, linked here; and Jamie Leigh Jones'allegations against KBR, linked here.  And then there are the random cases we learn about in the news -- various creepy guys in the military (hey, they have them too) murdering their often also active duty military girlfriends. (Marine Cpl. Cesar Laurean and fellow Marine Maria Lauterbach, but they're only one example.  There are at least three more in the news just this week; and try a Google search for "soldier murders girlfriend" or words to that effect, and you'll be tripping over results -- it's really unfortunate.)

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Okay: long buildup for short point: how about just studying in a focused way, crimes against women in the military by other servicemembers?  And then see what relationship, if any, the accused's background has on the likelihood of his committing a crime against women while serving?  I hate to cry gender bias, because it's often so institutional that no one even notices it's there -- but all the more reason to think about it.  The main Sacramento Bee reporters on this series do seem to be men.  One thing we know for sure -- the effects of Military Sexual Traumaare devastating -- worse than PTSD, and often coupled with PTSD, according to reports.  So if the damage is that severe -- can't we work backwards from that and concentrate on prevention?  And part of that might be a good study or three to determine if there IS any relationship between male servicemembers' criminal pasts, where they exist, and crimes against women in the military -- especially crimes of a sexual nature. 

It does seem that some of unexplained deaths of women servicemembers -- which the military sometimes calls suicides, even when faced with evidence that would seem to contradict this claim -- are actually murders to cover up rapes and the like.  Of course men commit sexual crimes against other men in the military, too -- but predominantly, we're talking about women in this instance.  Given the severity of the consequences to the women who are harmed (read up on Military Sexual Traumaif you don't at first agree), it would be well worth investigating better methods for preventing this degree of harm, from one servicemember to another.  Those are some "suspect soldiers" it would really be great to weed out. Women servicemembers signed up to serve their country -- they shouldn't need to worry about harm coming from their fellow servicemembers.

Two Graves for Forgiveness - One Vietnam Veteran's Poetry Helps Him Heal

In the spirit of the recent blog entries encouraging us that any time is the right time to write poetry -- including the very most difficult, troubling times in life, as well as the carefree and sweet -- and another one showing us how, here is one former Marine and Vietnam veteran's poem about the soul-destroying nature of combat, as he now sees it.  (Forgiveness - of one's self and others - is a common theme in veterans' poetry, understandably so.)

The author, Larry Winters, is a Vietnam veteran and psychotherapist who served with the Marine Corps in 1969 and 1970.  He apparently delivered this poem (meaning, spoke it) on the occasion of a dinner with General Diep and some others, on a return visit to Vietnam.  Winters is also the author of The Making and Unmaking of a Marine: One Man's Struggle for Forgiveness, linked here.  Here is the poem that he wrote:

If a man kills another man

He must dig two graves

One in the earth for the dead man

One in his heart

for his own spirit

Or he will not return.

Editor's note: An article entitled, "Poems of Pain Help Him Heal War Trauma," about Larry Winters and his work, was published in the Middletown, New York Times Herald-Record on March 19, 2007. The article is linked here. 

More importantly, Winter's own website about the book is linked here. Vietnam veterans and others may appreciate how much information, and photographs, Winters has packed into it.  It is sure to bring back a lot of memories.

How to Follow Legislative Progress on Bills That Concern Veterans, PTSD and Other Issues

"Founding Father" Thomas Jefferson was a firm believer in "open" or "transparent"  government -- and the principle of getting information into the hands of those democratically governed.  As a nod to his considerable contributions, the Library of Congress named their website for following legislation in progress after him -- the "Thomas" site.  It's a veritable "one-stop shopping" Web site for following progress on proposed legislation of concern to veterans and their families -- bills that are currently, or soon to be before the House of Representatives or the Senate.  The Thomas site, linked here, is a free service of the Library of Congress -- in other words, our tax dollars at work.  Go there and punch in any keywords of particular interest to you, such as "veterans" and "PTSD," and it will return a list of the bills that have been introduced to Congress and/or are being voted on, which include those specific terms.  Then you will be able to follow the progress of those bills more closely.

Fortunately, organizations such as the IAVA, VoteVets and others, also are in the habit of letting their members know when something they consider important is getting close to a vote, so that members can take the initiative to call their senators and representatives.  The recent successful passage of the new GI Bill was testament to those organizations' ability to get the word out from their constituents that passage was vitally important.  However, organizations will typically focus only on the bigger proposed bills, or ones with the greatest possible impact to their membership.  It behooves ordinary citizens -- you, me, us -- to become more aware in general of what proposed legislation is in the pipeline, so to speak, before it's voted on.  Then, in case we care to get more involved, or convey our point of view on it to our elected representatives.  Following a bill's progress, from proposal through passage or veto, at a site like the comprehensive Thomas site, is one way to do that.

Another way, that takes advantage of contemporary concepts like RSS feeds, is offered by OpenCongress.org, linked here.  A joint project of the Sunlight Foundation and the Participatory Politics Foundation, OpenCongress is a free, open-source, non-profit, and non-partisan web resource with a mission to help make Congress more transparent and to encourage civic engagement. As they say on their web site:

OpenCongress brings together official government information with news and blog coverage to give you the real story behind what's happening in Congress.

For most people, finding out what's really happening in Congress is a daunting and time-consuming task. The legislative process is frequently arcane and closed-off from the public, resulting in frustration with Congress and apathy about politics.

Small groups of political insiders and lobbyists know what's really going on in Congress, but this important information rarely makes its way into the light. The official website of the library of Congress, Thomas, publishes the full text of bills, but we can do much more to inform ourselves and make our government accessible. Now, with OpenCongress, everyone can be an insider.

What I liked, in particular, about their site is the alphabetical index to issues.  Under "V," you can find those issues with "veteran" in the name -- including veteran's benefits, disability compensation, education, employment, hospitals, loans, medical care, organizations, pensions and rehabilitation.  If you want to search for bills relating to post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, that also has its own category, and is linked here.  You can even subscribe to that category via RSS feed, so you can track that issue, and always kept apprised of what's going on in that area, with a minimum of effort -- because it comes to you, instead of your having to go out and find it (great!).  (For the link to veterans, click here.  For subsets of veteran issues, such as the ones named above, you have to search within "V" because they're listed alphabetically, starting with "veteran" as a prefix.)

If you're as big a fan of Facebook as I am, you'll note that OpenCongress.org has both a group, linked here, and a special application for Facebook users, linked here, to track bills on their profiles. (Yay.)

Editor's note: Thanks to subject matter expert, GuvBoy, for turning me on to the Thomas site.  (And if he ever learns to embrace Facebook, let's hope I returned the favor by turning him on to OpenCongress.org.)

Ambrose Bierce - Cynic, Soldier, Journalist (and Early TBI / PTSD Sufferer)

You may already know who Ambrose Bierce is -- contemporary of Mark Twain -- American "humorist" -- but with the most dark and biting, bitter humor around.  (So bitter, in fact, that in his later life, he was known as "Bitter Bierce."  He's famous for some short stories, including the inimitable "Incident at Owl Creek Bridge," which occasionally salvages an otherwise-deadly literature anthology for high school and college students, and also the Devil's Dictionary, which is truly just one of a kind, from which come many of the best "definitions" I've ever seen, about the out and out hypocrisy of language and typically revisionist history, written by the victors.  In fact, though they were rivals, the sentiments behind Mark Twain's famous "War Prayer" -- "Oh, dearest God in the heavens, smite down the other side, mainly because they're not US" (I'm paraphrasing) -- fit right in with Bierce.  While literature types make much of Bierce's cynicism -- he's been relegated to the "humor" side of the aisle, in theory, because of it -- the reality is, he was a soldier who saw many battles, and saw some truly horrible things, in the course of his serving in the Civil War.  Things that jump right out of the pages of his writing, and underscore realities from Vietnam -- like the impetus behind fragging -- and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan -- including what must have been a "traumatic brain injury" or "TBI" -- when he was shot in the head with a musket in one of the battles in which he participated.

If you fast-forward to the 1980s, Bierce's eventual disappearance in Mexico -- he had gone there to fight -- is chronicled in the fictional movie treatment, "Old Gringo," starring the eclectic cast of (erm) Jane Fonda, Jimmy Smits, and Gregory Peck, as Bierce (he's the "Old Gringo" of the title.)  (The movie was based on a novel by Carlos Fuentes, called The Old Gringo.) Ironically, Bierce's decision to go to Mexico and fight in yet another war seems quite reminiscent of combat veterans today, who agitate on the home front for the battle-fueled adrenaline they can't help missing when they're back.  If you haven't taken the opportunity to acquaint yourself with Bierce's dark humor and realistic depictions of war (as a combatant), do yourself that favor.  And in the meantime, I'll leave you with one of the funnier quotes I've seen in a while, courtesy of the one and only Ambrose Bierce -- "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography."

Editor's Note: Thanks to Chris Lombardi for reminding me this week of the singular, terrible beauty of Bierce, and encouraging me to read his devastating battle account -- "What I Saw of Shiloh" -- which concludes with the highly memorable line about the life that he "should have thrown away, at Shiloh."  Yikes.  He gets it.

And What a Week It Was...

This isn't a confessional/journal type blog, so my even posting this recap of "veterans, PTSD and my week" might seem out of place on it, but this past week was full of nuggets of interest at least to me -- and perhaps also to you -- that I just have to do it, if only just this once.  The items are all pretty miscellaneous as well, though linked around a common theme.  So sit tight, and I'll try to make this as painless as possible :-) -- although it promises, as always, to be a veritable "linkfest," to follow up at your leisure.

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Started the week by learning about the crisis humanitarian photographer Zoriah was in, recently embedded with the Marines in Iraq, who'd run afoul of the Marines for posting photos of dead American servicemen on his blog, even though he'd done so with great restraint, and in effort to show the grim realities of war -- realities we're increasingly prevented from seeing, except in the most sanitized of ways.  It was a shame to see how discordant and rancorous the debate over what he'd done became, but it was great to see him hold his head up high and help keep the focus on his work.

(This photo is from Zoriah's excellent, true-to-life war coverage blog, linked here and used with permission. It appears to be of a solitary American servicemember enjoying a lonely Fourth of July lunch in the chow hall on his base in Iraq.)

That gave me the chance to write another post about censorship and the Marines -- which seems to be an ongoing problem -- and mention the case of Eric Acevedo again -- only to find out from the IAVA blog, later in the week, that censorship is alive and well -- restricting freedom of the press -- even in funerals at Arlington National Cemetery.  Gina Gray seems to have been fired from her job as Public Affairs Director for the cemetery, by the Army, essentially for being a whistleblower, and trying to protect the public's right to know.  Depressing.  If seeing is believing, I guess we're now not supposed to see anything, either.  Rats...

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A friend of mine, code-named the Beautiful Redhead, has a Marine husband (1/25 - "New England's Own") who is just about to return from his umpteenth deployment.  That reminded me that the wonderful Ray Scurfield, D.S.W., had sent me some of his writings and given me permission to post them on this blog, which gave me an opportunity to post "Home Sweet Home: After Deployment, What? Support for Returning Veterans and Their Families" in her honor. On the other side of the coin, another buddy of mine, Kathie Costos, (mentioned elsewhere in this post), in her most rabble-rousing blog post of the week, questions why she gets so much static from wives of deployed military, who seemingly want to push the truths of war and its coverage aside.  She argues firmly that knowledge is power, and produces compassion and understanding, even (or especially) for wives and families, whose veterans sometimes need a listening ear on the homefront, about what they've experienced.  Read that post, questioning whether it's really bliss to be oblivious, here.

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Then I got a chance to communicate with former First Recon Marine and current international heartthrob, Rudy Reyes, one of the stars of the HBO miniseries about Generation Kill (linked here), and learn what his future plans are -- and they're exciting.  (Searches for Rudy Reyes skyrocketed this week, coming from places as disparate as Jack in the Box and the U.S. Senate, and from Alaska to Argentina.  I joke that everyone but the Pope searched for Rudy Reyes this week, and perhaps even him.  Reyes just got an agent -- William Morris -- (he's gonna need one!) -- there are some stupendous shots of him on the Web -- and there are plans for him to release an undoubtedly hotly-anticipated workout video and more, based on the concept of "Hero Living."  Can't wait to see what that's all about. (My semi-educated guess is his eventual website will be, www.RudyReyes.com, but currently there isn't any content posted there -- so check back periodically to see when it is.)

Later in the week, I got the opportunity to interview at length a Vietnam veteran, Marine, from 2/5, named Steve Piscitelli, who's now a sculptor in Florida, and turned to art to purge some of the inner demons he carried back from war.  He went to school (UMass Amherst) years ago with Kate Collie, a talented painter, who worked with him to create an exhibit known as Soldier's Heart.  I learned about Collie's work from a wonderful article on art therapy and PTSD -- really, the definitive article, from what I've seen -- by Jenny Hontz, that was published in the LA Times two years ago, and seems to be only available via the public library system at this point.  It's a shame, because it's an excellent article.  (Editor's note: good news -- it's available here.) We'll blog about it shortly, as part of our series on art therapy and PTSD, and ideally get to show some of Collie's paintings of Steve Piscitelli as well.  Then, got a chance to start a group on Facebook about combat art and poetry, in case any veterans who agree with Piscitelli's advice to just get creative and do SOMETHING want a chance to mingle with one another and discuss ideas.

On the "creativity in veterans" note, learned from Maxine Hong Kingston, internationally known author, and the editor of "Veterans of War, Veterans of Peace," that they're just about to start releasing guides to running writing workshops for veterans.  This is great news, because I for one would like to hold one, and it may be just the impetus to make it actually happen.  That inspired me to finally start talking more about combat trauma and poetry -- you can find war poetry books listed on the right of this blog as well -- something I'd like to continue to do more of in the future. (The link to the index of everything about poetry written on this blog is here.) My dream job? Teaching veterans how to write about they've been through, or otherwise express themselves creatively...

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Later in the week, sadly not in time to announce the first session in advance, I learned that the VA hospital in Grand Junction, Colorado is making it easier for veterans, their families and the community to talk and learn about PTSD, in a series of three weekly meetings they're holding in July.  Good stuff -- or at the very least, a great idea.  Let's hope it spreads.

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A journalist friend in New York City, who's writing a book about veterans and dissent for the University of California Press, pointed me to a short story by Civil War era author and personal favorite, Ambrose Bierce, called "What I Saw of Shiloh," which suddenly gives more insight into Bierce's character, since what he suffered in war -- even before getting shot in the head with a musket, later on in another battle -- was really pretty strong stuff.  Bierce is a quirky writer, with a very dark sense of humor -- "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography" is just one sample -- but after you read the Shiloh piece, it's not hard to understand that what Bierce and the others saw and experienced would have scarred them for life.  There are some paragraphs, deep within the story and towards the end, that are intensely graphic and compelling, about the horrors of war as a combatant that paint the same picture in words that Zoriah (mentioned earlier in this post) is currently doing in photography.

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Later on, trying to chase down the details of another Marine (2/9 and 1/9) and Vietnam veteran's story about a particular issue of Time magazine he saw, as he was recuperating in the hospital, and what profound implications it had for his life, I learned that you can access historical copies of Time magazines on the Web, right through the Vietnam war, and many other decades besides -- and see covers, tables of content, and read reporting as it was happening at the time.  I focused on reading about the Battle of Khe Sanh, and had the opportunity to observe once again that a) war is hell (Vietnam certainly was); and b) that war reporting then isn't quite the same as it is right now, for any number of reasons.  (This particular photo, at right, from the Battle of Khe Sanh, could easily depict some of the conditions Ambrose Bierce described at Shiloh, above.)

While I was working on unraveling the Khe Sanh "mystery" for myself, another First Recon Marine and Vietnam vet I care about took the opportunity to let me know he was contemplating cashing in his chips shortly -- which spun me off into a whirlwind of more learning needed on what do you do when you're not a counselor, but someone tells you something serious like that, that needs a measured and compassionate response?

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That got me talking to two people who know a whole lot more than I do -- Tyrone Ballesteros, at the National Veterans Foundation, which provides a hotline for veterans, open 7 days a week, from 9 am to 9 pm PST, and specializes in talking to vets about serious problems in their lives, of all kinds (1-888-777-4443); and also Kathie Costos, who may be newly ordained as a senior chaplain but has long been a friend of veterans, a fact evidenced by anyone who stops in to visit her blog, Wounded Times, linked here.  The series of videos that Costos has made and distributes should themselves alone help remove some of the stigma of PTSD.  In a strange but welcome twist, Costos is also being interviewed by a writer for a major magazine on PTSD, so it's great to anticipate the type of story that might come out of that, since the magazine in question doesn't give topics short shrift, but takes pains to cover them pretty comprehensively, and in a way that paints a very clear picture for the reader.

(What I learned about what you need to say and do will have to be saved to blog about later, but it essentially boiled down to two takeaways for me, who is no sort of expert on the matter: one, get the local authorities involved if you think someone's serious, because they will need a welfare check (the looking-in kind, not the one that buys groceries) and possibly more serious attention, such as the concerned bystander cannot provide; and also that there's a real distinction to be made between "wanting to die" and "planning to kill yourself," and while that distinction is subtle, and hard to learn, it's worth divining, because the wrong kind of "help" offered at the wrong time, can end up being a setback to the sufferer.)

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It was great reading Jill Carroll's piece in the Christian Science Monitor on Friday, that shows that some enlightened work is being done in the criminal justice and veterans sphere - and her article was not just informative but also well-written, which is always a treat. In a "small world..." sort of way, it was also nice to see that she talked about, in the article, people we've been talking about on this blog for a while -- Travis Twiggs, William Keating, etc., so that was re-affirming.

And speaking of re-affirming, two wonderful experiences to close out the week -- at least, the Monday through Friday part of it.  One was catching up with the inimitable John Powers, who I initially got to know through this blog, and finding out that, thanks to his efforts and those of the Student Veterans of America, that Rhode Island, Power's home state, is really becoming a model for the nation in terms of getting veterans situated who want to go back to school.  As just one example of the progress, and there are many to choose from, every college campus in Rhode Island has its own veterans office, to assist veterans returning to school.  Power's comprehensive Veterans Resource Guide is fast approaching 250 pages, and his Operation Vets website seems to be humming along as well.

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Last but not least, I stumbled upon a really marvelous piece of writing for returning veterans and their families, by AP journalist and compassionate war survivor, Britta Reque-Dragicevic, called "Close to Home: A Soldier's Guide to Returning from War."  The book is available in e-book form, as a download, at her website, LifeAfterWar.org, linked here -- and buying it for you or the veteran in your life just might be the best $10 you ever spend.  Speaking of a great gift...that book is a great one -- I can't recommend it highly enough.  It appears to have the endorsement of Ed Tick, as well.  I hope Reque-Dragicevic and James S. Gordon, M.D., who we wrote about recently in the mind-body medicine material, get to cross paths, too.  Between their interests in war-torn Kosovo, Bosnia and Sarajevo, and their interests in what amounts healing those damaged by war, I'm sure they'd have a lot to talk about.

TFT for the TNT of PTSD? -- "Thought Field Therapy" and PTSD

Who knows whether this is really a valid approach or not -- but in the interests of providing more information on the subject, here it is.  Thought Field Therapy (TFT) has been suggested as a possible treatment approach for PTSD, to lessen some of the symptoms. Is TFT valid?  Has it been discredited by some while considered valuable by others?  Probably both.  If you want to learn more about it, here is a link to a page on David Baldwin's extensive trauma site that at least breaks down what it is, and shows you how you can try it, if you're interested.  That beats reading a book about it or going to a seminar, if you're just interested in the "quick take" on what it is.  Interesting that Charles Figley, Ph.D., is writing about it, in 1995.  Not sure whether he still believes it's a worthwhile approach or not - a lot of time has passed since then.  If we can find out the answer to that, we will -- and post it on the blog later on.  In the meantime, here's the link.  Thought Field Therapy probably fits into the overall category of energetic medicine, so I'll go ahead and "file" it under the category of "Complementary and Alternative Medicine" -- but be sure to check out the other links within that category, as well -- to a number of other complementary, alternative, and mind-body medicine approaches to PTSD.

(It also looks like at one point, Shad Meshad, M.S.W., was also intrigued with the potential of TFT.  Again, not sure if that information's still current or not; but if and when we find out, we'll let you know here.)

Combat Trauma into PTSD: "We're Going to Be Paying for This for a Long Time..."

Christian Science Monitor reporter Jill Carroll -- you may remember her from her own capture ordeal in Iraq -- has an excellent story in today's paper, featuring many of the names covered heavily on this blog, among them, SSgt. Travis Twiggs, and Norfolk, Mass. District Attorney William Keating.  The article is called, "When the War Comes Back Home," and it's subtitled, "When veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan bring their [war] troubles home, police and judges are often the first to deal with them."  How they deal with them becomes the gist of Carroll's story, and it's well worth reading -- and linked here.

(We'll update this blog post as we have opportunity, but wanted to get the information out there.  Carroll's article is full of good information and tightly written --  so to rehash her main points or the things you'd want to know about would take as long as having you just read the original.  Not to mention, it's good practice to do that.  So please just go read the original.  The quote in the post title is from the article, as civic officials contemplate how long the problems of PTSD from combat trauma are going to remain with us.)

Don't forget we've also written, on this blog, about the similarities between police and veterans in how they develop PTSD from repeated exposure to trauma.  While police departments across the country, and the judiciary, are contemplating ways to manage the increased incidence of crime that can be traced to returning veterans (even if it's not much, it may still need greater awareness of PTSD and special challenges to veterans to handle) -- one thing both sides might want to remember is how they're probably more alike than different.

And I'm still loving this old headline from the New York Times, decades ago, about a far different war. Any old excuse to use it is just amusing to me.  I guess people were afraid that the "crime wave" they had on their hands was due to veterans, and the New York Times had to reassure them that it wasn't.  Argh.  

Of Vietnamese and Veterans: To "Forgive Themselves and Heal..."

A story told by Edward Tick, Ph.D., author of War and the Soul: Healing Our Nations Veterans from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder,  in an interfaith sermon from November, 2006:

Here is a story from My Lai, a hamlet as full of loss for the Vietnamese as Ground Zero, Manhattan is for us. I met a 75 year old woman there, the lone survivor of her entire family. Her parents, husband, children were all killed in the massacre. She said that it would have been far easier to die that day than survive to carry this pain her entire life.

Grandmother,” I said. “Then how do you feel about us Americans visiting you here?” "You must come,” she said. “Everyone must know the story.”

“I understand," I said. “That is why I am here. But what about our veterans? How do you feel about them returning? They might have killed your people. They might have even been here on that day.”

“No,” she answered. “You must understand this. Often I think the only reason I survived with this pain is so that I could live to meet your veterans, take their hands, look into their eyes, forgive them and help them forgive themselves and heal.”

Source: Tick's sermon, "Stop the Hate," from which this story comes, is linked here.  His book, War and the Soul: Healing Our Nations Veterans from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, is linked here. To read a quick web bio of him, click here.

Edward Tick, Ph.D.

Edward Tick, Ph.D., is an expert on post-traumatic stress disorder. A practicing psychotherapist for more than 25 years, he is a nationally recognized authority on the psychological, spiritual, historical, and cultural aspects of war in the healing of PTSD. Dr. Tick specializes in transformational work with war veterans and all survivors of severe trauma, including sexual and substance abuse victims, those with acute mental and emotional disorders, and those in need of deep psycho-spiritual healing. Dr. Tick applies his own innovative model of treatment based on his research of worldwide spirituality, mythology, traditional cultures, and the warrior archetype in order to develop a new and strengthened psycho-spiritual identity.

A writer, educator, and overseas journey guide, Dr. Tick holds an M.A. in psychology from Goddard College and a Ph.D. in Communication from Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute. He is a clinical member and has held various positions with the American Academy of Psychotherapists and the American Holistic Medical Association, as well as many other professional organizations. He is an ordained interfaith minister.

In 1979, Dr. Tick began psychotherapy treatment of Vietnam veterans before PTSD was a diagnostic category. Since that time, he has treated veterans and survivors of WWII, the Holocaust, Korea, the Vietnam War, the Gulf War, Central American conflicts, Lebanon, the Balkan wars, the Irish civil and religious wars, the Greek Civil War, the Middle East conflicts, and the Iraq War. He has also served as a consultant to numerous community and church organizations for the treatment of veterans and has participated in the training of staff.

Dr. Tick’s extraordinary work takes him on healing journeys, spiritual tours, lectures, educational classes, and workshops around the globe. He is co-founder of the Sanctuary International Friendship Foundation, a nonprofit agency that directs and raises funds for projects to help heal war-torn Viet Nam. He resides in Albany, New York, where he and his wife Kate Dahlstedt are directors of Sanctuary: A Center for Mentoring the Soul and Soldier’s Heart, a non-profit program designed to create safe-return programs for veterans in communities across the country.

The author of three other books, Dr. Tick recently released War and the Soul: Healing Our Nation’s Veterans from Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (Quest Books, Nov. 2005), which has gained much international attention and acclaim. The title is now being used as the guidebook for Soldier’s Heart®, giving new hope to the devastation of war and showing us how to welcome home our soldiers with compassion and understanding. War and the Soul is the winner of the 2006 Award of Distinction from the International Communicator Awards program and has won ForeWord Magazine’s 2005 Book of the Year Award (BOTYA) in psychology. For more information on Dr. Tick and his work, visit his Web site, linked here.

DIY Creativity -- Poetry Writing Exercise

Creativity -- art, poetry -- helps us work through various intrinsic, interior issues in an often cathartic way.  But how best to experience this?  We can see that Deng Ming Dao tells us that there are opportunities for poetry in everyday life, but how best to access those?  How best to "just do it," as the archetypal Nike ad slogan says?  Herewith some ideas, from none other than longtime friend of veterans and National Humanities Award winner, Maxine Hong Kingston.

(Kingston is featured in an excellent Bill Moyers / PBS documentary, shown on Memorial Day several years ago, and she's the editor of an anthology og veterans' writing called Veterans of War, Veterans of Peace.  For years she's led writing workshops of veterans in Northern California, and Ted Sexauer, a former Vietnam veteran/combat medic, is a poet whose work is featured in this anthology.)  She writes:

"[Ted Sexauer] gave us instruction for finding the way to poetry…He entitles the method, “How to Feel – Exercise for Integrating the Internal with the External.”  A symptom of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is going numb; being well is being able to feel.  “Feelings make you human.  Feelings make the writing alive.”  The Poet has feeling, and gives the reader feeling.

1. First, pay attention to what you feel. It may be one or more general feelings, or one in particular that is asking for attention.) Write one word or a phrase.
2. Close your eyes. Now what do you feel? Write it down.
3. Now look around yourself. What do you see? Write down one thing or several. Make them brief; do not use a complete sentence. (Unless you feel like it.)
4. Close your eyes again. How do you feel now? Write it down. Do not justify it; only acknowledge it.
5. Open your eyes. Write down what you see. Do not attempt to understand or process this. Do not question why.
6. Repeat this process until you are ready to stop.
7. Now find your personal way to put these words together.

Tonight please let’s try feeling, seeing, noting, noting seeing, noting feeling.  Let’s try for poems.  Let’s meet tomorrow with poems in hand.  May poetry come to one and all this night."

-- To Be the Poet, by Maxine Hong Kingston.  Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.  (2002).

Cultivating the Poet in Ourselves - Taoist Advice

National Poetry Month has come and gone, but the experts tell us the time for writing a poem is anytime, and the subject matter, well, it's as unrestricted as the timing. 

 

"Anything" turns out to be a fit subject for poetry, including the very things that cause combat trauma and PTSD:

 

"Anything is subject for a poem:
A catalog of boxing equipment, a collage of other poems,
Serpentine trail of incense, raised deer fur, old shoes pointed pigeon-toed,
Glass and steel cityscape, almond eyes of a saint, weeping of tiny flowers,
Sunlight on washed walls, blue shadows of stooped women,
A sprung mousetrap, a trickle of blood in the gutter,
The homing swoop of a gull, chill whitecapped bay, scent of eucalyptus.
Green lawn of broken blades, clods of fat earth.
Anything is subject for a poem.

 

Even in sleep, write a poem.
When waking, write a poem.
While loving, write a poem.
Even voting, write a poem.
When angry, write a poem.
While dreaming, write a poem.

 

The sages say quite seriously that those who wish to know Tao better should cultivate the poet in themselves."

 

-- Deng Ming-Dao, 365 Tao.

"Purple Mountains' Majesty and PTSD": Colorado VA Hospital Hosts Three-Part Series on PTSD

According to an article in today's Grand Junction (Colo.) Free Press, the local Veterans Affairs hospital is sponsoring a three-part series for veterans, their families, and the community on PTSD.  The series apparently started yesterday (Wednesday) and will continue on the following two Wednesdays, July 16 and July 23.  According to the article, session was led by social workers Gerry Mitchell and Austin Sorensen and "educated the group on the symptoms, perceptions and impacts of PTSD on the soldier and his or her family."  Next session will discuss "veterans’ family members coping with PTSD." (Hey, I hope they see our blog entry from yesterday on that exact subject -- "Home Sweet Home -- After Deployment, What? Support for Returning Veterans and Families," -- linked here!)  The third week's session will let veterans discuss their own experiences with PTSD. (My buddy, Kathie Costos, over at "Wounded Times," mentioned this upcoming series with great excitement the other day.  As she knows, veterans are often not that eager to seek help, but this series looks like a very positive development.)

Editor's Note: The article, by Marija B. Vader, called "PTSD attracts crowd at VA hospital," is linked here. The main website of the VA Hospital in Grand Junction, Colorado, is linked here.  (That site also includes driving directions.)  The hospital is located at 2121 North Avenue, in Grand Junction, CO 81501, and the phone number is (local) (970) 241-0731 and Toll Free:(866) 206-6415.  The sessions apparently start on Wednesdays at 5:30 p.m. in Building 6 on North Avenue.

Home Sweet Home -- After Deployment, What? Support for Returning Veterans and Families

Some words of wisdom from Vietnam veteran, professor of social work, and author, Raymond Monsour Scurfield, D.S.W., for returning veterans and their families.  For everyone who searches this blog looking for "ways to support returning veterans," I hope these words will provide some constructive help and solutions:

The partner back home, the children, significant extended family members all also have their unique combinations of pre-war characteristics, strengths and problems. These inevitably become intermingled with their life experiences while the veteran has been deployed. And, similar to the veteran, their combination of pre-deployment and life experiences and characteristics and patterns during the partner’s absence while on deployment now come face-to-face with the returned veteran who has been extraordinarily impacted by war.

And so, just what is the family to say and do in regard to a veteran who has recently returned from deployment and who appears to be quite different, appears to have been significantly impacted by the war? Should the partner and family remain silent and just avoid talking with the returned active duty about these noticeable changes (that are negative) in the hope that he/she eventually will revert back to how he/she was before being deployed? Also, there could be positive changes (discussed later).

But the rest of the family has needs and wants right now. And the family has just as much right and needs as does the returning veteran to be reached out to, listened to and understood, and their issues and feelings respected and addressed. To be of optimal help to your veteran partner, you first must understand what your primary needs and wants are right now, as you and the family are readjusting to the veteran being back and adjusting to someone who has been profoundly touched by war.

Are you resentful, relieved, entrenched in daily habits developed while your veteran partner was deployed, resistant or very ambivalent that your veteran partner has disturbed whatever homeostasis you had achieved in his/her absence? Do you want to just drop all the responsibilities onto your veteran partner, because you are exhausted and angry and needy and want your own space that was impossible to have while your partner was deployed? Are you so happy to have him/her back that you choose to bury or deflect all or most of your or the family’s pent-up feelings and issues and defer to your veteran partner’s needs and wants?

Do you have really mixed feelings about your military spouse being back now? Perhaps you are missing the freedom, that life was perhaps actually simpler in some or many ways, with fewer hassles and explaining to do, when your spouse was not around. (Sometimes my wife tells me, when I might hover around her too closely in the kitchen or in the bedroom when she wants her personal time, that “I am taking her oxygen.” :-) And, you are very glad that he or she is back. Yes, for some, absence does make the heart grow fonder.

On the other hand, there are military personnel and their spouses who realize they at least partly actually prefer that they are separated by periodic deployment. And indeed, for some, their relationship and their lives work as well as they do precisely because there are periodic deployments—and both partners (or only one) prefers it this way.

Of course, you also must pay close attention to what is going on with your veteran partner recently returned from deployment overseas. The vast majority of veterans who are recently returned from war appear to be all right, do not want to dwell on what has happened to them while they were in the war, don’t want to spend much time talking about it, thinking about it, or feeling about it. Rather, they want to put it aside, deflect it or bury it and get their lives back. This is normal and expectable.

There is a substantial sub-group of returned veterans who remain totally or partially preoccupied with the war and what happened, are obviously impacted about what they have experienced, are either sorely troubled and/or become quite isolated. Ironically, most of this group, similar to the first group, also does not want to dwell on it, don’t want to talk about it, think about it, or feel about it. They too want to put it aside, deflect it, bury it, as a way to get their lives back to normal.

There is a third sub-group who revel in/savor the war, miss it, yearn for it, talk or think about it a lot—to the point that it interferes with living in the here-and-now with you. This group is probably very resistant to changing anything about themselves, may not really like much about normal civilian life, and make it very difficult for you to connect with them in a meaningful way. Or, they feel stuck and don’t know how to ask for help.

A smooth and successful readjustment may require a remarkable balancing act by both the returned service member and the family. The veteran is responsible to be aware of when he or she is struggling with deployment-related issues and problems, and doing something about it. However, the service member may be in denial about this.

And so, the family may have to decide if it is necessary to confront the service member about his/her denial and/or do a balancing or juggling act to some degree between and amongst the array of competing needs and wants of the veteran, partner, any children and any involved extended family members. If and when do you need to become more assertive with your concerns to your veteran partner and not just allow a bad situation that is not showing much sign of improving to stagnate or become entrenched and chronic. Did anyone say that life was fair?

The vast majority of vets who are trying to deflect, deny, minimize or bury what has happened in the war and what may be going on inside themselves about the war, may need a wake-up call about their denial and avoidance. This might be from a close friend, religious confidant, and/or perhaps from the partner. The family may have to decide if you are willing to do what you have to do to stay – or get – skilled at balancing patience and persistence, diplomacy and assertiveness, and giving to your veteran partner while also being vigilant to taking care of your and your family’s needs and wants. This is not an easy row to hoe, and why getting assistance and support for you may be very advisable.

--Used with permission.

When the Marine Corps Misses the Bigger Picture -- Zoriah, Eric Acevedo, and Censorship

It's discouraging to even have to post about this, but there it is:

In a fight between the Marine Corps and freedom of the press, the Marine Corps seems like it wants the win.  According to Google Playfights (see gimmicky graphic illustrating this post) it already has.  (Learn more about Google Playfights elsewhere: it's not central to this post.)

Following the recently-embedded independent photojournalist Zoriah's travails on his blog, it seems that he's just now been kicked out of Iraq, and risks being completely blacklisted as a war photographer, because of at least some higher-up Marine Corps officers' displeasure with images he posted.  Images that centrally could help America to really get a better grip on the true cost of war for its participants.  If you believe the experts -- and the poets --no one comes back from war unchanged.  Whether it's what you've done/seen/participated in or not been able to do/see/participate in, it exacts a tremendous psychic cost.  That doesn't mean we should stop fighting in wars -- just that we should be more aware of the actual costs to those who do.  For every combatant killed, so many more are injured, and will come home with injuries that in many cases will profoundly transform their lives, and that of their families, for decades to come.  It's a shame the Marine Corps doesn't seem to really want the rest of us wrap our brains around this concept more fully.  It would help make us better empathizers with the true cost of war to its participants.

I had my own experience with Marine Corps censorship, earlier, on this site.  In an attempt to humanize the story of an apparent PTSD sufferer who'd killed his girlfriend, I dug through the Marine Corps (public) archives on their website, and found a little backstory about the Marine, Eric Acevedo, who'd been accused of the crime.  In and amongst the materials were some very key items: a photo that showed the human side of his grief and pain; and some material -- if you knew where to look -- that explained just what he'd been exposed to, in terms of combat trauma, while he was on the deployment that apparently harmed him the most.  It was a tragic tale, but it was also public knowledge -- at least, information accessible by the public, that could be pieced together by someone like a journalist who knows how to dig and highlight the important parts of the story.  I posted what I found, in an entry linked here -- and within three days, the Marine Corps had taken pains to scrub ALL identifying information about this poor guy, Acevedo, from their site.  The photo was gone, the article about the memorial service he attended, for the multiple guys KIA from his battalion on the tour in question -- all gone.  I learned about this new development when a reporter from the Dallas Morning News contacted me and said that all my links were down (I'd included them in the original piece, so anyone could follow and see what my sources had been).  Together, we backtracked through the Marine Corps archives, and found NOTHING -- the site had been scrubbed clean of multiple mentions of the accused -- and has stayed that way ever since.

Nobody likes bad publicity, of course, including the Marine Corps -- but really, there's so much more at stake than that.  When it comes to combat trauma and PTSD, the focus of this site -- it's important as a society that we see, learn, and otherwise come to understand what veterans go through -- or we won't have the compassion that we need to, and we won't pull for them to get the services they deserve, otherwise.  We also need to see more clearly the link between instances of combat trauma, and ultimately developing PTSD.   Not so that "no one else will join the military" -- not at all.  So that those who do can get the help they need, and those in charge can allocate their resources accordingly.

It's my firm conviction that combat veterans don't "give" PTSD to themselves.  They "get" it from what they've experienced.  And this is a true cost of war, for the Marine Corps and others to "count" in advance, so that the right opportunities for treatment and ideally recovery can be provided.  We can see from the late SSgt. Travis Twiggs' battle with PTSD -- or many others like him -- just how powerful, thorough, and deadly an opponent it really is.  What we're not seeing, unfortunately, from the Marine Corps -- in these two instances -- is a reasonable, big picture view on how the horrors of war are not something the American public needs to shy away from, but embrace.  And where the two may be linked up, as in the Eric Acevedo story, it's crucial that the Marine Corps not distance itself from its warriors, even when they're dented with significant wounds, visible and invisible. Sanitizing war?  Why bother... Actually supporting the troops who go? Oh, definitely.  If knowledge is power -- we need more, not less - in order to do so, more effectively.

In the Zoriah situation, it sounds like someone may have snapped under the strain and started a bad ball rolling with that -- created a polarized position that no one could retreat from, gracefully.  If that's the case, that's a real shame.  There's a much bigger picture here, and finding a workable compromise would be greatly important.  I remember reading one Marine officer's published dispatches from Iraq, which got progressively darker and unpleasantly snappier as his tour went on, to the point that it sounded like another person writing them.  I commented about this to someone who knew that Marine, who told me a little side story that explained a lot.  Things had been going well until that Marine's superior, to whom he was very close, was seriously injured and almost died, taking part in a humanitarian mission with the Iraqi government.  At that point, the junior officer hit a wall, got bitter, and got very angry with the Iraqis who could have done that, while the Americans were just trying to help.  What I had been picking up in the Marine officer's writing reflected the personal struggles he was genuinely going through -- struggles which are highly understandable to anyone interested in human nature.  My guess is here, someone who felt very stressed and angry because of Marines he cared about being injured and dying, snapped down on the whole situation instead of privately (or publicly) processing his natural grief -- and the ultimate impact might be, if this continues to go wrong, to keep the rest of us from being able to experience war a little bit more, even vicariously - in order that we better understand, and grieve, with those who suffer.  I hope the Marine Corps finds a way to resolve this situation that respects the points of view of all sides involved, including the American public, which does have a need to know.  The same goes for the Eric Acevedo situation, and scrubbing the information from their archives.

The American public pays the bill for these wars: we have a right to know what they're like for those fighting them.  And those who fight them pay the ultimate price: and we respect their efforts and the character it takes to be warriors, very much.

---
I shared a very bleak, grim quote with a Marine Corps Vietnam vet the other day, from an Italian in the Middle Ages who said, "Life is a voyage on uncharted waters, ending in shipwreck.  There are no survivors."  The former Marine, still struggling all these years later with PTSD, said the quote was almost right -- but would be better if we switched out "life" with "combat" or, "war."  Then, he said, it would be more accurate, because, quoting him, there are no true "survivors, only shipwrecked lives..."

Editor's Note: You can read about Zoriah's developing situation on his blog, linked here.  You can also read previous entries on this blog where we've mentioned him, here and here.  You can read about the Travis Twiggs story here, and in many other entries on this blog; and the Eric Acevedo story here; both as I've blogged about them. 

And while you're at it, considering asking the Marine Corps to put the Eric Acevedo material (and anyone else's they've removed, in similar circumstances) back on their publicly-searchable archives, as it was before.  I'm sure his defense lawyer would appreciate it, because any good defense of this client is going to need to advance theories that involve his extenuating circumstances (combat) and things that speak to his state of his mind (PTSD), both of which it's hard to picture were NOT service-related.  Acevedo's crime?  A  truly terrible one.  The combat trauma he experienced, and the PTSD he likely developed?  Also terrible.  Without war coverage like Zoriah's "tragic and amazing" photography, also a big picture we're likely to miss.

Happy Fourth of July - Veterans

Celebrating America's Independence Day and the veteran, from the Revolutionary War through to today's conflicts, here's a marvelous quote from  the pages of history:

"We have to remember that in the future we will want to keep before our children what this war was really like.  It is so easy to forget; and then, for the younger generation, the heroism and the glamour remain, while the dirt, the hardships, the horror of death and the sorrow fade somewhat from their consciousness." -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keeping the conversation alive about just those topics this Independence Day...

Find the Cost of Freedom, Buried in the Ground

It's an old Crosby, Stills & Nash song, by Steven Stills. Many of us who were there in the 70s still remember the words. I know I can recite them from memory: "Find the cost of freedom, buried in the ground. Mother Earth will swallow you; lay your burdens down."

Tomorrow is the Fourth of July.  Not only my favorite holiday the whole year through -- sorry, I'm a New Englander, we're just born that way -- but also another opportunity - along with Memorial Day, and Veterans Day - to stop and honor the service of those who sacrificed their lives for freedom, or at least, responded to what they saw as the call of duty that they responded to, while others did not. Those whose blood was shed on American soil -- in Lexington, Massachusetts, in the Revolutionary War -- and also, more recently, in the jungles of Vietnam, in the mountains of Afghanistan and in the sands and urban jungles of Iraq.

I'm thinking today about censorship -- and the power of an image to convey, in a single instance, what those of us who labor over our words perhaps never can.  The picture, they claim, is worth 1,000 words -- perhaps because it communicates, in an instant, across barriers of language, space and time -- what human beings instinctively understand, nonverbally.  With war: that there is a price; that it is never really glorious; that those who give their lives often do so -- as the poet W.H. Auden wrote about the famous art masterpiece, the "Fall of Icarus," by the Dutch painter, Brueghel -- in a depressingly inglorious context:

"About suffering they were never wrong,

The Old Masters; how well they understood

Its human position; how it takes place

While someone else is eating or opening a window or just walking dully along...

If you don't remember the Greek myth of Icarus you might need some refreshing.  He's the pre-Wright Brothers son of Daedalus, whose father built him a pair of wings, in order to take flight and escape from the island of Crete.  But the father glued the wing feathers in with wax, and then warned his son not to fly too close to the sun (probably without explaining actually why.)  Icarus partially succeeded in his goal -- he was able to fly, but in flying, did get too close to the sun -- at which point the sun's rays melted the wing feathers' wax and he literally dropped out of the sky, into the ocean -- having succeeded in his fabulous quest and also painfully failed, all at the same time.  That's not the parallel with the armed forces: the parallel worth drawing here is that sometimes death on a glorious "mission" turns out to be a most pedestrian thing, and the rest of us, unless we're apprised of it, don't even notice or celebrate.  On a deeper level, it brings up the question: as Americans, how exactly do we "support the troops," if we're not even really aware of what they're up against?

Unlike Vietnam, where grainy black and white news footage of U.S. soldiers fighting and dying in foreign jungles was often watched during dinner, with Walter Cronkite narrating -- in Iraq and Afghanistan, we're reduced to very little coverage and certainly not much that could "upset" our "overly tender sensibilities."  No flag-draped coffins being offloaded at Dover Air Force Base, instantly communicating that for every loss in combat there's a grieving, distraught family and a hole in the community, left by that veteran, that will never be filled.  Even those, like me, who don't exactly excel at math -- we're more than dimly aware that for every servicemember KIA -- or killed in action -- there are scores more wounded and disfigured for life -- emotionally scarred (invisibly) as well as visibly.  The human costs are staggering: those are daddies and mommies, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, employees and employers who come home different: maybe unable to work, maybe unable to function - initially or long-term; maybe unable to take care of their families while they struggle with their own wounds of war.  This is the human cost of war: it exists whether we are personally dialed in to it and aware of it, or not.  It is, to use the words of Hedley Peach, a "generic effect of combat."

And while the news media gives scant coverage to what is happening in the conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq, as surely as the hands of our clock tick daily the minutes and the hours, somebody's sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, fathers, and mothers are dying, and being injured -- somewhere.  We can be for or against the wars -- forget that noise for now -- but at the very least, we ought to be for the veterans.  And their families.  If what happens is fully what they signed up for: so be it.  I'll say this for myself, if no one else: They're better people than I am.  If it's not what they bargained for: even more reason to feel compassion for what they're going through.  But here's a pretty elementary principle: if we don't see it, we can't grasp it -- and we move on with our lives as though nothing were really happening.  No coffins at Dover? No bodies on the news?  I guess this war isn't really costing that much in human terms after all...it's just another blip on our radar, hardly making a difference among the rest of the pronounced concerns of our lives and welfare.  Except that it IS happening -- and men and women are dying, and being injured, often grievously -- and we're, generally speaking, like the villagers in the Icarus poem, above (read the whole thing) pretty unaware of how that affects us, or if it even does.

And THAT is where journalism comes in, and photojournalism -- to convey in a single image, what dozens of column inches can barely touch.  A single image that resourcefully, potently conveys the reality of life and death on the knife edge, on the tip of the spear -- somewhere around the globe, and challenges you, me, us -- the viewer -- to say that it matters, and that we finally understand.

Maybe that's why in every craptastic Third World-ish revolution, they always kill -- um, that would be the military who does the killing -- the intelligentsia -- the artists, the poets, the thinkers, the intellectuals -- first.  Because I guess if you even goad the populace at large to think, why, you're a highly dangerous individual, and should be stopped -- before you can do any more harm (I mean, good.)

---

Want a riveting image, that "stops the presses," and conveys for all time the intrinsic truth -- or at least, one powerful truth -- about an experience?  Turn to a photojournalist.  I've read more words than I can think of in my time, but if you want to know what I remember -- it's the images, often Pulitzer Prize-winning, from the eras of our shared experience.  Vietnam? It's the naked young girl, covered in Napalm, running from her burning village.  (We dropped the Napalm, btw...) Famine in Africa?  It's the buzzard, waiting for the tiny dark baby with its protruding ribs to just "hurry up and die, wouldja?!" so the buzzard could eat it.  (The photographer who shot that amazing scene, and won a Pulitzer Prize for it, later killed himself -- perhaps because those who witness tremendous suffering, also suffer tremendously themselves.)

---

I'm not going to say who it is, because -- call me a fatalist -- I don't want to wake up tomorrow and find out that he's dead.  ESPECIALLY not on the Fourth of July -- that would be offensive in the extreme.  But the other day, some well-known and ridiculously good photojournalist blogrolled me -- stuck a link to this blog on his blog -- and I checked it out, to see what his stuff was like -- and of course it was riveting.  He's an embedded photojournalist in Iraq, or was, I should say, until the Marine brass apparently got fed up with him, and summarily pulled him out of his embedded assignment and out of the country.  His only offense, from the sounds of things?  Shooting the aftermath of a suicide blast in Ramadi -- you know, the Anbar province -- the Sunni triangle -- the previous hotbed of violence in Iraq -- which if we're to read the mainstream media, why, all that has calmed down considerably from a few years ago, and there's hardly anything brewing there at all.  Well, except for the lives of scores of people who died there, INCLUDING MARINES, in a suicide bombing just last week.  This guy documented it -- as sensitively as one could, given the horrific nature of the scene -- and he expressed the emotional toll it was taking on him, as no other experience had.  And somebody in the Marine Corps upper echelons took offense at what the rest of us call -- oh, I don't know -- the First Amendment -- and took steps to pull him out of there, on the double.

Let's HOPE the guy lives long enough to evacuate safely.  Really.  And then let's hope he still gets to show what he shot, at great personal cost -- because some of the rest of us (it's a refresher course: we're called Americans) want to actually SEE the cost of freedom -- in a way that those of us who don't serve, don't know; and those of us who do, and did -- know only too well.  It's only fair.  If we sanitize the living daylights out of these wars -- for what? -- not only will the American public not "get" the tremendous price paid by those serving AND their families; they won't be as compassionate to the same people afterwards as they need to be.  It's in all of our best interests to actively fight for, and preserve, the freedom of the press.  And that means photojournalists, who document war's horror, sufferings, and triumphs in a way no print journalist could ever begin to approximate.

---

For my part, when I saw the photos in question the other day, I had myself a good, therapeutic, and instantaneous cry -- not just for the crumpled bodies of THOSE Marines on the ground -- he was subtle, nuanced and concerned enough not to show their faces, or anything else that identified them -- but for all the others I knew and knew about, who'd fought, been injured, or died there -- or returned home, not quite as intact, in body or soul, as when they'd left.  To deny us, as Americans, the chance through images like this to share the plight of those who are fighting on our behalf elsewhere in the world, is to deny us the chance to share what servicemembers are going through; and to deny them the chance to know that somewhere out there are people who "get," admire and respect the tremendous price they've paid through their service.

---

The Marine Corps, which wants to sign more patriotic young sons and daughters up to fight, apparently thinks that by constraining the version of what reality is to just a portion of the whole will keep them happy and us in the dark, and people like this brave guy, the photographer, well, in complete limbo.  Little do they know that the patriots will still fight, but the rest of us could use an education course in compassion, sensitivity and yes, tenderness for those who've fought in battle, that only comes through expanding our horizons, and by facing the whole truth of what they're really going through, as combatants. Don't sugar coat the truth: everyone who goes to war comes back changed -- that's just how it is.  Let's develop a compassion and an understanding for what they go through, not sweep it under the rug.  The death and injury of those with whom they serve is often the most scarring aspect of combat there is.  Just ask those who've never been the same since.

So especially on this Fourth of July, as one extraordinarily talented photojournalist sits in limbo, let's hope still alive, ripped out of the fight for no other reason than that he was getting a little too close to home in showing us what war is really like -- I'm appalled to think that as Americans, we're not being trusted with the whole truth, when it's expressly the whole truth that we need, as Martin Luther King once said, to set us free.  We need to know the human costs of these battles we're in.  And suppressing the images of that just harms our servicemembers and their families, and cripples the compassion of us as a people.

---

Until I looked it up just now, I didn't realize that Crosby, Stills and Nash song had other lyrics.  Apparently it does.  Besides the chorus (above), which I remember so well, there's another verse as well:

Daylight again, following me to bed
I think about a hundred years ago, how my fathers bled
I think I see a valley, covered with bones in blue
All the brave soldiers that cannot get older been askin' after you
Hear the past a callin', from Armegeddon's side
When everyone's talkin' and no one is listenin', how can we
decide?

On the behalf of all those "brave soldiers that cannot get older," could we at least not suppress and crush the efforts of those who are trying to get us to see the whole truth?  What truth is that, you may ask?  The very cost of freedom, buried in the ground -- in Iraq, in Afghanistan, and in Vietnam beforehand. Godspeed, Z.  You are a witness on ALL of our behalf, to the price that war really exacts, on those who serve in it.

The Art of War - but Not Sun Tzu's: Three B&W Iconic Images from Iraq, Vietnam and Afghanistan Depict War and Its Toll on the Warrior

Three images to ponder -- three black and white depictions of war and the veteran:

This first image, by the humanitarian photojournalist Zoriah -- currently in Iraq -- is profound, stark and spectacular.  It is also very recent.  Zoriah narrowly survived a bombing in the Anbar province last Thursday.  This is an image he captured from last Monday -- of a young U.S. soldier.  Zoriah writes: "A couple of days ago I went out on a foot patrol in Sadr City with a young a soldier and noticed the tattoo on his arm, featuring a rosary and the words “Forgive Me.”  I asked him what the story behind it was.

He said, “After my first tour in Iraq, I went back home to the states and all my friends called me a murderer and killer.  I guess I started thinking a lot about all the things I had done over here…you know.”

(Zoriah's blog, filled with inescapably riveting images like this one, is linked here.  Stay safe, Zoriah!)                                               

The second image is of a Vietnam-era veteran, standing, head bowed, in front of the Vietnam Memorial in Washington, DC, also known as "The Wall."  It's taken by French Canadian photographer, Patrick-Andre Perron, whose website is here.  Interestingly, on Perron's website, he "illustrates" this photograph with a poem he must particularly like, that he apparently saw on the wall.  We include it here:

"If you are able, save for them a place inside of you and save one backward glance when you are leaving for the places they can no longer go.

Be not ashamed to say you loved them,
though you may or may not have always.
Take what they have taught you with their dying and keep it with your own.

And in that time when men decide and feel safe to call the war insane,
take one moment to embrace those gentle heroes you left behind." 

- Major Michael Davis O'Donnell
1 January 1970, Dak To, Vietnam, Listed as KIA February 7, 1978

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The third image is of Lance Cpl. Nicholas G. Ciccone, USMC, captured by Marine Combat Artist and Warrant Officer Michael D. Fay, whose blog, Fire and Ice, is linked here.  This is a pencil sketch of a young Marine, core-level exhausted after a nine-day firefight in Afghanistan.  Says Fay: This "was the face of Lance Cpl. Ciccone I looked upon inside the freezing gutted remains of Kandahar International Airport in early January 2002. His platoon had just dragged themselves into the terminal building after completing a nine-day combat patrol. They had originally intended to be out for only twelve hours, but found a huge weapons cache and the Taliban wanted it back. I don’t know what happened during those long days, but whatever it was, these Marines had the look. And of them all, Ciccone had it in spades. The drawing shows him the very moment he’s dropped his backpack and removed his helmet. Looking at it now I realize what it was about him — the weight was still there."

Sadly, Lance Cpl. Nicholas G. Ciccone later lost his own battle with PTSD, killing himself in October of 2003. Ciccone's suicide, Fay remarked, "made me acutely aware that not all fatal wounds are physical."