Just a brief note to mention, it was one year ago today that Travis Twiggs passed from this earth, by his own hand, the veritable poster boy of combat-based PTSD. It also marks his brother Willard's passing, who left this earth with Travis, apparently by Travis' hand. It's an absolute tragedy, for any number of reasons -- from the family members and friends the Twiggs brothers leave behind -- to the fact that Travis, personally, was making an impact as a Marine who broke the code of silence, so to speak, and spoke openly about his PTSD. Twiggs wrote about his ordeal in the January, 2008 issue of the Marine Corps Gazette, in an article that has been widely circulated, and is still available on the Web.
Travis Twiggs' suffering was something that really stood out to me -- perhaps because of his very willingness to speak openly about his struggles, something Marines.Just.Don't.Do. We actually broke the news of his death on this blog, before the mainstream media had reported on it -- and in fact, the early reports were wrong on the facts but widely repeated, making the damage that much more painful. (He and his brother were reputed to be hardened criminals, for example, which they were not, although they had been -- at the last -- involved in a carjacking, as part of their initially ill-fated but ultimately successful desire to end their lives. In fact, Twiggs was a much-decorated Marine with multiple combat tours behind him, who had recently met the president, and whose Marines (and his family) deeply loved him. His brother, Willard, was well-loved as well. A year later, not a day goes by that people don't find this site out of a search they're doing for Travis or Willard; and in the days after their death, searches for Willard were almost as popular as those for Travis, though Willard was obviously shyer and less well known. And these tragedies were not the only ones the Twiggs family suffered in a very short amount of time: their beloved grandmother also passed away within days of the Twiggs' brothers' deaths. Hard, hard times for the Twiggs' family, and for all those who loved Travis and Willard.
It's hard to explain my own involvement in this saga except to say, I had a bad feeling about how Travis was really doing, without even knowing him, just based on reading what he wrote, and how it didn't seem to add up. So the month before, without realizing he'd already been confined to an inpatient PTSD program at Bethesda Naval Hospital, and was therefore unable to answer, I repeatedly tried to get ahold of him and/or the Marine Corps Gazette, which had published his somewhat optimistic article months before. When neither would reply, I started to really worry that something was amiss. Then when the first news reports came out of the National Park Service about the "armed, tattooed and dangerous" Twiggs brothers, involved in a carjacking, I just knew it had to be Travis, and that things had somehow gone terribly wrong. Hoping to offset the "bad news" (and mistaken news" about who Twiggs really was -- not a lifelong criminal, but a decorated Marine, who everyone loved, who'd struggled mightily with PTSD -- I went out on a limb, and wrote, as I realized he was dying, what became a "PTSD obituary" to this at the time unknown Marine, who'd undoubtedly died from the consequences of his uncured, but not untreated PTSD.
In the days that followed, as I waited for any national attention to be focused on his case -- none was -- the blog here received heavy, heavy traffic, as those who loved Travis and his brother came to essentially pay their respects, much as I had tried to myself, and also tried to come to terms with the brothers' passing. Over time, various reporters kicked into gear and started covering the Twiggs' story in lengthy pieces. (I had to put the "use with attribution" notice up on this blog when one reporter spent, no joke, 40 hours mining this site, without acknowledging where he got his information. Ugh.) Richard Ruelas wrote about the saga for the Arizona Republic (the brothers had died in Arizona), Bill Finnegan's at the New Yorker magazine, and there was a two-part series in the New Orleans-based Times Picayune. CNN, to its discredit, never once mentioned the brothers' passing. I think once they missed the initial window, it was too embarrassing to catch up, but to this day, they never have, whereas pretty much everyone else has had something to say about it -- or them.
While many, many aspects of being the one to break this story -- on a blog, not in a newspaper or a wire service -- have been exceedingly frustrating, I'll spare you my angst on that one. The blessings have also been there -- getting to "meet" online and sometimes in person, some of the key players in the brothers' lives, and have them express their appreciation for what I did to help to humanize their brothers, while the rest of the print world was essentially doing the opposite (at least initially). I'm still concerned for how Travis' wife, now his widow, Kellee, to whom the news of Travis' whereabouts and obviously his death, came about as a shock, as well as for the Twiggs' parents, whose loss of two sons at once is just incalculable.
In the New Age-y world, people do talk about being careful about what your intention is, and how your intention will carry the day. Without going into what "intention" means, overmuch, it can be simplified to say, whatever the vision is of an outcome, that you carry in your heart, or that you express to the world. In this case, it was very, very clear. Back exactly a year ago today, as Travis Twiggs and his brother were in their last moments, and time was running out, I wanted the world to NEVER FORGET who Travis Twiggs was, and what the legacy of unresolved PTSD looks like. If ever there were a poster child for PTSD, it was Travis Twiggs. He took the first step when he told the world his secret in that powerful, much-read article in the Marine Corps Gazette, when he broke the silence for his Marines, and the rest of OEF/OIF veterans. What I held in my heart that day -- despite the professional disappointments that may have followed -- was that when people thought of PTSD, they would think of Travis Twiggs. And given that his legacy is still very much alive, one year later, I do believe that intention accomplished exactly what it was supposed to.
As Twiggs himself said, he was willing to come forward and talk about what he went through, because he wanted no other soldier, sailor, airman or Marine to suffer like he had -- in silence. With his death, and that of his brother, unfortunately for the much-beloved Twiggs brothers, but mercifully for the rest of us -- it's a conversation we will all keep having. RIP, Travis and Willard Twiggs. You are not forgotten.
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Editor's note: The original blog entries about Travis Twiggs from a year ago are: "One Marine Reflects on His Battle with PTSD," linked here (before his death); "PTSD -- "The War Within" -- Claims Another Victim," linked here; "RIP Travis N. Twiggs, USMC PTSD Sufferer," linked here; "The Ballad of Travis Twiggs," linked here; "Travis Twiggs' Suicide - Only Questions Remain," linked here; "The PTSD Obituary for Travis Twiggs," linked here; "Bleeding Green with PTSD," linked here; "Twiggs' Wife: 'The PTSD Drove Him Crazy'," linked here; "The Tragic Last Days of Travis 'T-Bo' Twiggs," linked here; "Travis Twiggs' Widow, Kellee, Puts a Human Face on the Suffering of PTSD," linked here;and, finally, "SSgt. Travis Twiggs - Well-Loved U.S. Marine and Hurting PTSD Hero - the Update," linked here.
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