For everyone who's lost anyone -- and for veterans, that means their brothers and sisters in combat; for family members, their veteran -- there's obviously nothing good to be said about the tragic loss. But reading American luminary Ralph Waldo Emerson over the New Year's weekend, from an essay called "Compensation," we see him point to some positive things that loss brings forth. Not anything that lessens the original loss; but growth of a new kind, made possible because of that very loss.
Because it's almost impossible to find something good to say about something otherwise completely bad -- and because loss (and blame) tend to hang around for years, even decades longer than they "should" -- it seemed important to reprint Emerson's words here, in case they comfort any.
"We cannot part with our friends. We cannot let our angels go. We do not see that they only go out that archangels may come in. We are idolators of the old. We do not believe in the riches of the soul, in its proper eternity and omnipresence. We do not believe there is any force in to-day to rival or re-create that beautiful yesterday. We linger in the ruins of the old tent where once we had bread and shelter and organs, nor believe that the spirit can feed, cover, and nerve us again. We cannot again find aught so dear, so sweet, so graceful. But we sit and weep in vain. The voice of the Almighty saith, “Up and onward forevermore!” We cannot stay amid the ruins. Neither will we rely on the New; and so we walk ever with reverted eyes, like those monsters, who look backwards.
And yet the compensations of calamity are made apparent to the understanding also, after long intervals of time. A fever, a mutilation, a cruel disappointment, a loss of wealth, a loss of friends, seems at the moment unpaid loss, and unpayable. But the sure years reveal the deep remedial force that underlies all facts. The death of a dear friend, wife, brother, lover, which seemed nothing but privation, somewhat later assumes the aspect of a guide or genius; for it commonly operates revolutions in our way of life, terminates an epoch of infancy or of youth which was waiting to be closed, breaks up a wonted occupation, or a household, or style of living, and allows the formation of new ones more friendly to the growth of character. It permits or constrains the formation of new acquaintances and the reception of new influences that prove of the first importance to the next years; and the man or woman who would have remained a sunny garden-flower, with no room for its roots and too much sunshine for its head, by the falling of the walls and the neglect of the gardener is made the banian of the forest, yielding shade and fruit to wide neighborhoods of men."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson, from an essay called "Compensation," published in 1841.
